Do you live with your grandparents and relatives? Most people would answer “no”. While some people prefer to live in a extended family, statistics reveal the number of extended families is decreasing. I agree with the opinion that the importance of a extended family decreased in the modern society because high expenses and less need.
To begin, maintaining an extended family requires high living expenses due to the soaring prices of basic necessities including food and housing. Because of the recent economic crisis and inflation, living expenses have increased. The rising prices of commodities increasing basic living expenses even more. Plus, our rapidly developing society produces premium brands, a main culprit in excessive consumption. Including the cost of expensive university tuition fees and additional tutoring, the cost for educating a single child puts an extremely heavy burden on parents.Such cost could be tripled or quadrupled in case of a large family. Parents have to give up their normal life to afford such high cost to maintain an extended family. Thus, High living costs and educational expenses decreases the importance of an extended family.
Furthermore, in the modern society, there is less need to maintain a large family due to advanced technology and less need for manpower. In the past, when agriculture was the main way to earn money, an extended family was essential because for planting, carrying, harvesting and selling crops needed human labor. Also, if one agricultural process was poorly managed, all the crops were poorly managed. Because of this, more reliable workers like family were needed. Furthermore, while men were out doing the work, there were also additional people needed to educated the children, do the house chores and take care of the sick people, which is also a reason why maintaining a large family was crucial. However, due to industrialization and technological improvement, many process that required manual labor have been replaced by machines. Therefore, the need to manage a extended family has decreased.
In conclusion, even though some may think extended family has its own benefits, but we cannot deny the importance of it decreased compared to the past due to increased living cost and justification to do so.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 128, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...s;. While some people prefer to live in a extended family, statistics reveal the ...
^
Line 1, column 260, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...with the opinion that the importance of a extended family decreased in the modern...
^
Line 3, column 101, Rule ID: BASIC_FUNDAMENTALS[1]
Message: Use simply 'necessities'.
Suggestion: necessities
...g expenses due to the soaring prices of basic necessities including food and housing. Because of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 573, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Such
...ts an extremely heavy burden on parents.Such cost could be tripled or quadrupled in ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 768, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun process seems to be countable; consider using: 'many processes'.
Suggestion: many processes
...lization and technological improvement, many process that required manual labor have been re...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 870, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...machines. Therefore, the need to manage a extended family has decreased. In c...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, may, so, therefore, thus, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 43.0788530466 26% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1943.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 363.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.35261707989 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3649236973 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88827703085 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.564738292011 0.524837075471 108% => OK
syllable_count: 623.7 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.59856630824 21% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.4327364179 48.9658058833 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.263157895 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1052631579 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.36842105263 5.45110844103 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162844444476 0.236089414692 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0561889574413 0.076458572812 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0518979501481 0.0737576698707 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115261374921 0.150856017488 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0617932852549 0.0645574589148 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 11.7677419355 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 58.1214874552 75% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 10.9000537634 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.19 8.01818996416 115% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 86.8835125448 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 78.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.5 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.