TPO-11 - Independent Writing Task Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with?Use specific reasons and examples to support you

Nowadays, with advancement of technology, in 2018, people get progress, and their traditional cultures has changed a lot. In my opinion, these are changing are good for all countries specially Asia. If I want to explain it, I should start my discussion with the traditional thinking in the past;

First, in the past, for example,50 years ago, in 1968, people in IRAN didn’t have internet, also most of them when they got sick they had never gone to the doctors and used the traditional plants drugs. Some of them get worst and died, and they said that; surely god’s will‼ but with progress of science and technology people learned about how get information’s from internet for example, the best source is GOOGLE, that’s an online advertising technologies everybody can search on it about whatever they liked. And after that people used to smarts phone and laptops and already all the cars have a smart bot to help them navigating, and some applications like as WhatsApp and Instagram teach them to know about all the news and some new thing like as cooking new foods and knowing about sicknesses and drugs. So it has too many benefits for people but, it has some disadvantages too.

Second, some people use internet in bad ways, such as bothering other people. For example, if you are searching about how can you hack one Instagram page you can learn it easily. Last week, one of my friends send me a massage about a stranger person took some of my photos and make a fake page with her own name on Instagram. But all of my friends reported her so the Instagram blocked her page. There are always profligate people who abuse the situation, but this is not the reason people do not use the internet.

In conclusion, so I agree, that Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. And all the losses that people said about to used the internet it’s depends on people and it’d completely personal, as we put our money and golds into a bank deposit box to protect our property, we also, have internet passwords that all the people must change it every months to protect ourselves from hijack hackers.

Votes
Average: 9 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 150, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'gone'.
Suggestion: gone
... them when they got sick they had never go to the doctors and used the traditional...
^^
Line 3, column 641, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[9]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to navigate' or 'navigate'.
Suggestion: to navigate; navigate
... the cars have a smart bot to help them navigating, and some applications like as WhatsApp...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 843, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...out sicknesses and drugs. So it has too much benefits for people but, it has some di...
^^^^
Line 7, column 422, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... protect ourselves from hijack hackers.
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, as to, for example, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1780.0 1977.66487455 90% => OK
No of words: 371.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.79784366577 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38877662729 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64506334446 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.563342318059 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 543.6 618.680645161 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 102.306130699 48.9658058833 209% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 136.923076923 100.406767564 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.5384615385 20.6045352989 139% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.45110844103 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.259854810491 0.236089414692 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10909269239 0.076458572812 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0810129962003 0.0737576698707 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158643115327 0.150856017488 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0426176993756 0.0645574589148 66% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 58.1214874552 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.86 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.