The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president."In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their

The author argues here that in order to improve the overall profits of Climpson Industries the company ‘s president should implement the electronic monitoring of employees Internet use.
Thus I generally disagree with the author’s opinion and despite the several facts presented by the author, the argument contains a number of logical loopholes that succeed in making the argument sound unconvincing.

Firstly this is merely an assumption made by the author without much solid grounds when he claims that the employees use internet for their recreational activities. It could be a possibility that a few of them may use it but most may do other activities for recreation for an example going for a coffee break or discussing some sports with their collegues. Hence there is a chance that even by monitoring their Internet use nothing significant would be achieved as they might be wasting time in other activities. Thus it makes it a weak claim as the author never explicitly mentioned that the employees only use the internet for recreation.

Secondly, the author readily claims that by preventing employees from wasting time on the internet and cutting their recreational activities on it their productivity will increase. This is not the case as a very few humans can work for very long durations without any breaks. It’s natural for our mind to get tired and at times becomes neccessary to do some recreational activities so that you can get back to work. So by monitoring the employee ‘s internet use and punishing him if he or she uses it for recreation may increase the working hours but can affect the quality of work done by them which will eventually lead to less profit.

Lastly, the author cites that employees spend a lot of time playing games or shopping on the internet. Well there is a chance that they might be doing it when they don’t have any work to do right now or waiting for a task to complete so that they can progress ahead with their work. So his claim that they are wasting their time may not be true as they may engage in recreational activities but may work rest of their time and always leave office after completing their work for the day. This again is a weak claim as the author fails to demonstrate any correlation between recreational activities and the amount of work done by the employees.

Thus, in conclusion, the author’s argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further the author must provide clear and concrete evidence perhaps by way of a detailed and reliable analysis. He should look into what are all the activities employees do for their recreation,How much cutting their recreation time would affect their performance,When do employees opt for such activities. Only after analyzing such details a clear judgment can be made.

Votes
Average: 6.4 (4 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... monitoring of employees Internet use. Thus I generally disagree with the author&ap...
^^^^
Line 4, column 358, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ssing some sports with their collegues. Hence there is a chance that even by monitori...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 514, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ht be wasting time in other activities. Thus it makes it a weak claim as the author ...
^^^^
Line 8, column 119, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hopping on the internet. Well there is a chance that they might be doing it when ...
^^
Line 10, column 286, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , How
...vities employees do for their recreation,How much cutting their recreation time woul...
^^^^
Line 10, column 356, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , When
...tion time would affect their performance,When do employees opt for such activities. O...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, if, lastly, look, may, second, secondly, so, thus, well, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 28.8173652695 184% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2358.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 474.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9746835443 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66599839874 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82314113536 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.474683544304 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 721.8 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.1802754873 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.0 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.3333333333 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.44444444444 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.231314379323 0.218282227539 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0887159892086 0.0743258471296 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0944351309223 0.0701772020484 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164835080148 0.128457276422 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.125127227985 0.0628817314937 199% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.3550499002 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 477 350
No. of Characters: 2280 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.673 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.78 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.667 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.467 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.561 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5