Some teenagers take part in different kinds of activities such as musical classes sports classes and so on but others only focus on one activity which is important to them Which idea do you support

By and large, the path that people step in as teenagers can have substantial influence on their future as a grown up. The courses that teenagers take can define their characteristics as a person and pave the way for a brighter future. Some teenagers tend to participate in different activities such as sports, art and so forth, while others tend to put their heart and mind on one activity that is important for them. To the extent that my personal perspective is concerned, I accord with the first group. Among countless reasons which give adherence to, my opinion, I will delve into the most conspicuous ones in the subsequent paragraphs.
Firstly, by taking part in an array of activities teenagers provide themselves with an opportunity to have a wider perspective and find their talents more easily comparing to those who choose to focus on only one activity, for no one can find his or her fears, strengths and weakness in different fields without actually trying them out. For instance, I always thought that I don't have what it takes to become a musician, so I focused on math, on which I thought I can excel more conveniently, so I never actually tried to play a music instrument until I was 24. Never did it cross my mind to challenge myself, since I wasn't eager to leave my comfort zone. Not only music changed my personal life, but it also promoted my self-esteem and self-confidence.
Secondly, attending different courses can improve teenager's multi-tasking abilities, which can come handy in their future personal life and vacation. Companies nowadays place a premium on multitasking employees and participating in different courses can enhance the teenager's ability in this regard. This multi-tasking ability can even have substantial benefits for teenager's future life as parents. For example, I never lagged behind my peers in school even though I had lost my father in the age of 3 and we were always suffering from financial problems for my mother was always eager to keep abreast of new teaching and parenting methods and simultaneously manage the house.
Her music knowledge helped my brother to flourish his talents as a musician and her swimming ability helped me to learn swimming without paying anyone to teach us.
In short, all the aforementioned reasons and examples leads to the conclusion that should teenagers take part in different courses they will be able to promote their multitasking abilities and in the same breath explore their talents more precisely. Therefore it's much better for them to take different courses.

Votes
Average: 8.9 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 377, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
.... For instance, I always thought that I dont have what it takes to become a musician...
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Line 2, column 620, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...ss my mind to challenge myself, since I wasnt eager to leave my comfort zone. Not onl...
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Line 3, column 266, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'teenagers'' or 'teenager's'?
Suggestion: teenagers'; teenager's
...ng in different courses can enhance the teenagers ability in this regard. This multi-task...
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Line 3, column 555, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...always suffering from financial problems for my mother was always eager to keep a...
^^^
Line 4, column 121, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to swim'.
Suggestion: to swim
...her swimming ability helped me to learn swimming without paying anyone to teach us. In...
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Line 5, column 251, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...h explore their talents more precisely. Therefore its much better for them to take differ...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, for example, for instance, in short, such as, by and large

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2136.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 426.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01408450704 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88427641757 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.549295774648 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 669.6 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 74.9899993332 48.9658058833 153% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.5 100.406767564 133% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.625 20.6045352989 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.6875 5.45110844103 159% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.220359281521 0.236089414692 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0707767107177 0.076458572812 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0732583180859 0.0737576698707 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117994272269 0.150856017488 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0754109474608 0.0645574589148 117% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 11.7677419355 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.41 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.