Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment—doing things they
like to do—rather than doing things they should. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
People have different perspectives on how to spend their time. I disagree that people today tend to spend too much time on personal entertainment instead of working on things they must do. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First, the economic system that we live in today requires a lot of requirements to have basic needs. People have to work hard in their studies to find a good job. They have to improve their skills to stay in their job, so they do not have the opportunity to have a lot of free time to spend it on personal enjoyment. My father’s experience is a compelling example of this. He had been always busy with his work and being able to do the thing that he likes to do, such as relaxing on the beach or traveling abroad, was very hard for him. His responsibility of our home loan, my university’s tuitions and made forced him to work hard to satisfy our needs.
Secondly, even if people have the time to do things that they like to do, it is not always affordable to do so. It is obvious that entertainment things require a lot of money, and it is not easy for anyone to handle these amounts of money. For instance, I enjoy riding horses, but when I take a look at the prices of being a member of a horse club, I realize that I could not take that step.
In conclusion, I disagree that people spent too much time on their personal enjoyment rather than doing things they have to. This is because people do not much free time and because it is not always affordable to do what the like to do.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, look, second, secondly, so, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1286.0 1977.66487455 65% => OK
No of words: 295.0 407.700716846 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.3593220339 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14434120667 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55814317895 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 212.727598566 70% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.501694915254 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 402.3 618.680645161 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.3417676404 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.8571428571 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0714285714 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.28571428571 5.45110844103 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.409036358887 0.236089414692 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.152632561615 0.076458572812 200% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.160179099386 0.0737576698707 217% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.303096250776 0.150856017488 201% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.117595853897 0.0645574589148 182% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.01 10.9000537634 73% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.98 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 43.0 86.8835125448 49% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.