ARGUMENT:"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once

The author of the article doesn't make a cogent case to reduce absenteeism and more information has to be provided in order to validate this argument. Since the author builds his case on a study on East Meria, so more information about the authenticity of study and the organization who did the study has to be provided. The scope and validity of study is not clear. The sample may not have been representative of city residents, considering only few residents of East Meria or residents of certain suburb of East Meria.

The author is of the opinion that "Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds" since in East Meria people visit the doctor only once or twice per year, according to study. While study doesn't specify the conditions of East Meria, may be the weather of East Meria is usually hot throughout the year so there are very few cases of cold. Or the residents of East Meria don't visit hospitals too often in case of cold. Since the reason is not clear that conditions in East and West Meria are same so the same study can not be replicated to West Meria.

The author recommends the use of Ichthaid-a supplement derived from fish oil as a supplant for fish consumption. But the question that needs to be addressed is will the Ichthaid-a supplement perform similar function as eating fish does? Do they have same composition and have similar effects on human body? It is possible that the supplement won't prevent colds.

Lastly, even if the most frequent reason for absences is colds but it may be false. Students and workers may be cheating and reporting false reason since this reason is readily believable so this reason and apocryphal as the main reason for absences can be lack of motivation or some thing else. So use of any supplement won't reduce the absenteeism unless the authenticity of reasons of absences are confirmed.

Votes
Average: 6 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
No. of Words: 330 350

More content wanted.
For issue essays, around 450 words, for argument essays, around 400 words.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 330 350
No. of Characters: 1517 1500
No. of Different Words: 151 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.262 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.597 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.591 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.43 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.578 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5