Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. During those ten years, local sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol, have increased fourfold, while sales of sulia, a food rarely eaten by the healthiest residents, have declined dramatically. Because of these positive changes in the eating habits of Benton City residents, we predict that the obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The author claims that the obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average. To support the conclusion, he cites various evidences such as the decline in sulia sales, increase in food that contains Kiran. Although these evidences appear to bolster the author's argument, a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. So to make the argument more sound, the author needs to cite the following specific evidences.
First of all, the author has not presented the statistics regarded with the number of people who have adopted the food habits recommended by the government. Perhaps, the number of people who have changed the food habits is a small portion of the Benton City residents. If this is the case, the it would be specious to reach into the author's conclusion. One the other hand, it is possible that even if the residents are following the government nutritional guideline, it is possible that they are following the guideline in a wrong way. For example, a same medicine that may brought different outcome if that is taken with milk or with water. Similarly, it is possible that although they are close, they are following it incorrectly. If this is the case, the water doesn't hold water.
Secondly, the author has assumed that sales of sulia, has declined dramatically, however, he has not provided any clue about whether this sulia is scientifically proven hazardous to human health or not. Additionally, it is possible that, even if this sulia is dangerous to human health and the sale are dramatically declined, people may have started to consume other food abundantly that is deleterious to human health. For example, if in the same city, the sales of sugar were increased largely, then how the author can predict the obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average? So without the specific data on sugar and other perilous food consumption, it would be unreasonable to admit the author's conclusion.
In conclusion, it is possible that the prediction will become true. However, as it stands now, the author's argument is based on two unfounded assumptions that render the author's argument unpersuasive at best and specious at worst. Thus, in order to make the argument more sound, the author needs to cite the specific evidences on these above two fronts.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 14 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 388 350
No. of Characters: 1874 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.438 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.83 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.599 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.38 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.889 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 160, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sion, he cites various evidences such as the decline in sulia sales, increase in ...
^^
Line 1, column 275, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...h these evidences appear to bolster the authors argument, a meticulous analysis will sh...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 291, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'it'?
Suggestion: the; it
...on City residents. If this is the case, the it would be specious to reach into the aut...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 334, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... it would be specious to reach into the authors conclusion. One the other hand, it is p...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 521, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a wrong way" with adverb for "wrong"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...e that they are following the guideline in a wrong way. For example, a same medicine that may ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 765, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...rrectly. If this is the case, the water doesnt hold water. Secondly, the author has...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 718, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
..., it would be unreasonable to admit the authors conclusion. In conclusion, it is po...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 100, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...me true. However, as it stands now, the authors argument is based on two unfounded assu...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 171, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...o unfounded assumptions that render the authors argument unpersuasive at best and speci...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, secondly, similarly, so, then, thus, well, for example, in conclusion, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1930.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 387.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98708010336 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43534841618 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69177481169 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.472868217054 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 613.8 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.911751098 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.222222222 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.94444444444 5.70786347227 122% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.100462239229 0.218282227539 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.033231685306 0.0743258471296 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0423317273711 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0588390074618 0.128457276422 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.053922628415 0.0628817314937 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.