Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. During those ten years, local sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol, have increased fourfold, while sales of sulia, a food rarely eaten by the healthiest residents, have declined dramatically. Because of these positive changes in the eating habits of Benton City residents, we predict that the obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction
In the given survey it is stated that the rate of obesity can be minimized if the Benton City Residents are inured to healthy eating habits The author has come to this conclusion based on the evidence mentioned above. However, an author might be correct but there are specific questions to be answered to call it a perfect assertion and unwanted assumptions put forward by the author needs to be meticulously examined.
First of all, If only eating habits don’t change the rate of obesity? In Benton city, there may be others factors that play a crucial role in the process of mitigating the rate of obesity. In addition to, mitigating the rate of obesity several factors might be the rate of exercise that is accustomed by the people of the city. Other factors may be engaging themselves in the various works. If either of the scenarios is present the assumptions put forward by the author is undermined.
Moreover, If the rate of the Cholesterol can only be a palliates by the use of Kiran? Although, various scientific experiment has proved that Cholesterol can be controlled by the use of the Kiran may be other factors that play a pivotal role in lessening the rate of obesity such as incorporating others food such as the fishes, etc. In light of the obesity, the obesity can be also mitigated by other food except for Kiran also. However, this assertion may not be the case but if the scenario presents hold true, the assertion put forward by the author holds no water.
In the same way, Is it certain that the people will conform to the government’s nutritional requirements? As the author maintains that if people follow the government’s nutritional requirements the rate of obesity can be controlled significantly but this scenario may not prevail. The scenario may arise where the precedence is given to the self-priority instead of the government nutritional requirements. There is no certitude that the people may be self-effacing and they always followed the government requirements. If either of the scenarios has merit the assertion put forward by the author holds no water.
In the conclusion, the argument as it stands now is seriously flawed and predicated on flawed assumptions. If the author is able to answer the three questions above and offer more evidence in the form of a systematic research study then it is possible to strengthen.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 402 350
No. of Characters: 1924 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.478 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.786 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.834 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.647 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.57 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.941 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.373 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.373 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 391, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...gaging themselves in the various works. If either of the scenarios is present the ...
^^
Line 3, column 297, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'others'' or 'other's'?
Suggestion: others'; other's
...e rate of obesity such as incorporating others food such as the fishes, etc. In light ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 424, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...itigated by other food except for Kiran also. However, this assertion may not be the...
^^^^
Line 4, column 520, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...s followed the government requirements. If either of the scenarios has merit the a...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, except for, in addition, such as, first of all, in the same way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1974.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 401.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.92269326683 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47492842339 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92207614364 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.423940149626 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 636.3 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.9736041437 57.8364921388 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.666666667 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2777777778 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.61111111111 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0680095659434 0.218282227539 31% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0265941374552 0.0743258471296 36% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0446601849004 0.0701772020484 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0422913219258 0.128457276422 33% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0389626488093 0.0628817314937 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.