The country economy and identity is compromised by the influx of illegal immigrants, therefore the borders must be tightened and the already living immigrants must be sent back to their country of origin.
The writer is overly reliant on the claim that the immigrants are catasrophic to the identity and the economy of the host country. There are cases when the influx might prove to be so. However, there are some cases when its no more true, insraed exactly the opposite is true, as discussed below.
The illegal immigrants are posing a threat to the economy and the national identity of the country. The author might have assumed that there are number of ways in which they can pose threats. They can lead to a trade of illegal products such as narcotics and the ammunition, hence tarnishing the identity of the country. This happened to Pakistan when a lot of immigrants have came to Pakistan from Afghanistan due to russian invasion. They were later on proscribed because of their illegal trade of arms and narcotice Moreover, they can jeopardize the economy by increasing the crime rates and terrorism, leading to abimination for tourisom and foreign trade of the country, thereby plummeting the economy as the torism based econmy generally do when terrorism happens. For example, the Turkey tourism was greatly impeded few years ago by terrorism.
However, the illegal immigrants might not essentially bring the above mentioned harms to the host country. On contrary, they could cater the need for the labor force. For instance, the countries where the local populace is largely old, the influx of immigrants might prove very helpful in smoothing the running of industries and factories, assuming, of course that, most immigrants are health and willing to work while observing the local laws.
If the populace is old and unable to work as effectively as the incoming immigrants, as in most countries of European Union, such as Germany, then the influx of the immigrants must be considered for employment. Since the writer states that there are abundance of incoming immigrants, meaning they are compelled to leave their home countries for whatever reasons, might be war, economic instability, social insecurities, which bolster that instead of pushing them to their country, let law observing and skillful workers work in the host country under law. It would relieve those locals who are either too old to work effectively or those who could otherwise have contributed to the greater country interests but could not because they are needed at working level more than at research or development level. In this way, the immigration could have fruitful consequences instead of monstrous ones, hence underming the writer claim.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 13 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 413 350
No. of Characters: 2067 1500
No. of Different Words: 211 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.508 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.005 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.573 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.812 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.037 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 221, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
... so. However, there are some cases when its no more true, insraed exactly the oppos...
^^^
Line 4, column 378, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'come'.
Suggestion: come
... Pakistan when a lot of immigrants have came to Pakistan from Afghanistan due to rus...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, however, if, moreover, so, then, while, for example, for instance, of course, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2125.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 413.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14527845036 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65502964998 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.518159806295 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 666.9 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 92.1383979403 57.8364921388 159% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.8125 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8125 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0625 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.238094261867 0.218282227539 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0790419873057 0.0743258471296 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0688157159999 0.0701772020484 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13794427604 0.128457276422 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0289352531508 0.0628817314937 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.3799401198 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.