The following appeared in an article written by Dr. Karp, an anthropologist.
"Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This research of mine proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other island cultures."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author in this argument states that his research proves "Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well." He also claims that "The interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other island cultures." He assumes that since in an interview conducted by him, the children are found to be talking more about their biological parents than about other adults in the village, the findings of Dr. Field does not hold true. However, before the author's claims are to be taken into account, it is essential to strictly scrutinize the situation and challenge his asusmptions based on which the findings have been justified. This short communication shall try to analyze three of the assumptions on which the author's claim rests.
Firstly, the author is comparing his recent study to Dr. Field's one- which dates back to twenty years. It is thus quite probable that things have changed hugely in these years. It might be possible that the island cultures have undergone massive reforms or changes and thus the pattern of upbringing has changed. It is also possible that with passing time, although the children are still raised by their entire family, the recent parent shave become more inclined to their children; thus spending a higher proportion of time with them. Not just in these remote islands, it is a common prevalance these days that the recent parents, even in the most developed countries or cities, have become more affectionate as well as concerning towards their offsprings than they were two decades back. Hence, to challenge Dr. Field's claims of those days is completely not justified since the conditions may be quite true considering the time this research was conducted in.
Secondly, the author has been weakly assuming that since in an interview the children keep talking more about their parents, they must have been raised by them. A child is always drawn towards their parent's affection much more than others, no matter how much time they spend with them. It is thus possible that even today, if children continue to be rasied by the entire village, at the end of the day they dine with their parents and go to bed with them. Thus, the influence of their parents and their inclination remains stronger than others. We can safely challenge this assumption and look for more concrete evidences to support the claim of shifting patterns in child uprising.
Lastly, the author goes on to claim that the "observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well." In most cases, minute details about any family can be found only through keen observations. In contrast, the author's way of coming to conclusions through interviewing may turn out to be faulty since children are likely to deter from the actual truth. As mentioned in the point above, during interviews, children may deviate from the actual scenario by bringing into picture their natural inclination towards parents. In such cases, although they may be spending more time with the other adults of the island, they would tend to speak more about their parents. This can leads to completely biased inferences and resultant wrong claims. Thus, the two approaches of data collection and inferencing cannot be compared.
In conclusion, I would like to state that the author's claims of "Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well."- is based on a certain set of weak assumptions which are deemed to fall apart, if minutely analyzed. It is, thus, essential to call for more evidences to accuse the past research of being faulty. More details of the present family structure as well as information of the situation as it prevailed twenty years back is necessary, both through observations and questionning, to hold the argument true.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 664 350
No. of Characters: 3333 1500
No. of Different Words: 291 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.076 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.02 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.753 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 240 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 180 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 125 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.538 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.085 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.468 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.122 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 314, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... the pattern of upbringing has changed. It is also possible that with passing time...
^^
Line 7, column 698, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'lead'
Suggestion: lead
...peak more about their parents. This can leads to completely biased inferences and res...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, however, if, lastly, look, may, second, secondly, so, still, thus, well, in conclusion, in contrast, as well as, in most cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 37.0 19.6327345309 188% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 28.8173652695 212% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 101.0 55.5748502994 182% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3457.0 2260.96107784 153% => OK
No of words: 664.0 441.139720559 151% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2063253012 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.07623851424 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90662143392 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 307.0 204.123752495 150% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.46234939759 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 1028.7 705.55239521 146% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 4.96107784431 302% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 123.108048812 57.8364921388 213% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 150.304347826 119.503703932 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.8695652174 23.324526521 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.73913043478 5.70786347227 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.117435383468 0.218282227539 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0315550812218 0.0743258471296 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0376655923995 0.0701772020484 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0720160412703 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0321985947835 0.0628817314937 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.5 14.3799401198 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.53 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 154.0 98.500998004 156% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 56.0 12.3882235529 452% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.