After numerous complaints of uncomfortable conditions like dizziness and nausea on some of the consumers of Promofoods tuna, the company requsted eight millions cans of tuna be returned for testing.
The test shows that five in eight chemicals most blamed for casusing these symptoms of dizziness and nausea were not found in the tested cans, the other three remaining suspected chemicals found but claimed their exsitence in all canned foods naturally. Thus the tuna company concludes that the canned tuan did not pose a health risk. While this conclusion is problematic, there are some loopholes in this statement, we need to reexamine them carefully.
To begin with, the result of the test is unconvincing, thus it need further evidence to prove the test. Firstly, eight million cans of tuna returned while we do not know how many specimens invovled in this test which shows us that the canned tuan does not cause a health risk. Given so many cans returned ,this is a significant accident which need to get extraodinary focus while without the number of the canned tuna we can not find whether the test is compelling, maybe threre were only a few canned tuan in the test which can not prove all of the canned tuna can induce a health risk. Secondly, as we do not know the number of canned tuna in th test, the author's decription that the absence of five in eight most blamed chemicals which can casue symptoms above in is not convicing, likewise. There is a high possiblity that besides these canned tuna in the test, lots of the other canned tuna could have these five dangerous chenicals. Thirdly, there are three suspected chemicals which the author says they are found in all canned foods, this is not an excuse as the volume per capita is significant when deteming the risk fo causing symptoms memtioned above. Maybe these three chemicals were tested much higher than the national criterion which could make people ill. Thus the test details should be open to the public, by this way we could find whether the test is well designed.
Moreover, even if the absence of five in eight chemicals shows in the test, there may be other flaws in the process of making canned tuna. there maybe some procdures contaminated by some microbes which could make people sick.Or on the other hand, if people do not eat the canned tuna in time, instead storing them in the frige, there is also a high possibility of getting such illness.Thus, further survey among both of the factory and consumers is required to make clear which procedure triggered this accident.
In all, the conclusion of the author is nor compelling by the evidence shows above, the test is not well designed and there maybe other flaws which could cause this accident. Besides the outcome of the test,the volume of the three chemicals per capita is improtant to determine whether they are contagious. So more evidence as well as survey are required to prove the conclusion by the author.
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/pet-food-company-r…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 511 350
No. of Characters: 2395 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.755 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.687 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.365 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.938 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.311 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.391 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.549 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.188 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 84, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...conditions like dizziness and nausea on some of the consumers of Promofoods tuna, the compa...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 254, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...xsitence in all canned foods naturally. Thus the tuna company concludes that the can...
^^^^
Line 4, column 305, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...health risk. Given so many cans returned ,this is a significant accident which nee...
^^
Line 4, column 540, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...ed tuan in the test which can not prove all of the canned tuna can induce a health risk. S...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 697, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e authors decription that the absence of five in eight most blamed chemicals whic...
^^
Line 4, column 1275, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... criterion which could make people ill. Thus the test details should be open to the ...
^^^^
Line 6, column 140, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...s in the process of making canned tuna. there maybe some procdures contaminated by so...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 226, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Or
...e microbes which could make people sick.Or on the other hand, if people do not eat...
^^
Line 6, column 386, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
...igh possibility of getting such illness.Thus, further survey among both of the facto...
^^^^
Line 8, column 207, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ccident. Besides the outcome of the test,the volume of the three chemicals per capit...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, firstly, if, likewise, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus, well, while, as well as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2454.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 508.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83070866142 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74751043592 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46292176733 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.419291338583 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 761.4 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 78.7863388998 57.8364921388 136% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.352941176 119.503703932 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.8823529412 23.324526521 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.76470588235 5.70786347227 171% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.225622342478 0.218282227539 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0917929757399 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.127853099608 0.0701772020484 182% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.185512687384 0.128457276422 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.186884222847 0.0628817314937 297% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.33 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.