The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend.
"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town-Adams Realty and Fitch Realty-Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."
The author of this argument claims that Adams Realty is superior to Fitch Realty. To support this claim the author cites certain statistics about the number and working hours of the firm’s agents, and the number and sales prices of homes sold by the two firms. The author also shares a small narrative involving his own experience with both Fitch and Adams. Careful examination of this evidence reveals that it lends little credibility for the author’s assertion.
Firstly, the author bases her claim on the fact that Adams has more agents than Fitch,and majority of whom work part time.However, this does not mean that Adam’s is more efficient than Fitch,it is entirely possible that a smaller firm is more effective than a larger one , as it is generally observed that smaller firm’s pay more attention to customers on an individual basis and that part time agent is more effective than a full time agent .Moreover, the author provides no information about the part time workers in Adams.
To further support her claim the author cites the fact that Adams sold more properties last year than Fitch. However, the author only looks upon the sales of last year to support his claim ,it may happen that in most other years Adams actually sold fewer properties than Fitch or perhaps sales volume is higher at Adams simply because it employs more agents, and each Adams agent actually sells fewer homes on average than each Fitch agent does.
The author points out that the average sale price of a house sold by Adams is greater than Fitch. However, this only states that Adams sells houses at a higher price than Fitch, it does not imply that Adams is more effective.For additional support,the author states that Fitch reality took longer than Adam’s to sell one of the author’s homes ten years earlier.Even so, this discrepancy can be explainable by a myriad of other factors like the changing economic conditions during that ten year period ,or the likeability of the two properties over the course of time.Without establishing that all the factors that affected the sales were same for both, the author cannot completely rely on his narrative provided to support his claim.
In conclusion, the author's evidence lends little credible support to his claim. To make his argument more persuasive, the author should provide clear evidence that Adam’s agent’s are more effective in selling houses than Fitch agents on an individual basis.The author must also provide information about the relative attractiveness of author’s two houses, and the extent to which real estate market changed during the decade.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 441 350
No. of Characters: 2128 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.583 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.825 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.274 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.923 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 27.071 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.451 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.652 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.196 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 86, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , and
...ct that Adams has more agents than Fitch,and majority of whom work part time.However...
^^^^
Line 3, column 113, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ts than Fitch,and majority of whom work part time.However, this does not mean that Adam’s...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 123, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...tch,and majority of whom work part time.However, this does not mean that Adam’s is more...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 191, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...that Adam’s is more efficient than Fitch,it is entirely possible that a smaller fir...
^^^
Line 3, column 271, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...firm is more effective than a larger one , as it is generally observed that smalle...
^^
Line 3, column 386, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...stomers on an individual basis and that part time agent is more effective than a full tim...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 427, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled as one.
Suggestion: fulltime
...art time agent is more effective than a full time agent .Moreover, the author provides no...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 442, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...is more effective than a full time agent .Moreover, the author provides no informa...
^^
Line 3, column 444, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Moreover
... more effective than a full time agent .Moreover, the author provides no information abo...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 499, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...uthor provides no information about the part time workers in Adams. To further support...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 189, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... sales of last year to support his claim ,it may happen that in most other years A...
^^
Line 7, column 226, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
... not imply that Adams is more effective.For additional support,the author states th...
^^^
Line 7, column 248, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...is more effective.For additional support,the author states that Fitch reality took l...
^^^^
Line 7, column 362, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Even
...of the author’s homes ten years earlier.Even so, this discrepancy can be explainable...
^^^^
Line 7, column 501, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...c conditions during that ten year period ,or the likeability of the two properties...
^^
Line 7, column 568, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Without
... two properties over the course of time.Without establishing that all the factors that ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 172, Rule ID: APOSTROPHE_PLURAL[1]
Message: Consider using the plural form here: 'agents'.
Suggestion: agents
...ould provide clear evidence that Adam’s agent’s are more effective in selling houses th...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 258, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...han Fitch agents on an individual basis.The author must also provide information ab...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, firstly, however, look, may, moreover, so, even so, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2199.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 433.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07852193995 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56165014514 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50102338416 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.468822170901 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 675.0 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 39.0 22.8473053892 171% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 189.746285583 57.8364921388 328% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 199.909090909 119.503703932 167% => OK
Words per sentence: 39.3636363636 23.324526521 169% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 5.70786347227 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 18.0 5.25449101796 343% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.214261014747 0.218282227539 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10128116992 0.0743258471296 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0754355159607 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.134147465515 0.128457276422 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0135950315907 0.0628817314937 22% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 22.2 14.3799401198 154% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 31.89 48.3550499002 66% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 18.5 12.197005988 152% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.78 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.11 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 17.6 11.1389221557 158% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.