The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
According to the memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College, more new dormitories are needed to be built in order to serve the housing needs of the students because the enrollment is growing and new dormitories will attract more students. However, more evidence about the enrollment rate over the next 50 years, local rent fee around the college and the attraction for students to choose a college should be needed.
Firstly, the memo need gather more information about the enrollment trends. Even if this year, the enrollment is comparably larger than the past few years, this trend may not continue in the next few years, not to mention in the next five decades. Maybe this year, more student go to Buckingham College to study because the student that choice to continue their education in college reach to the peak point. And it's likely in the next year, the students' number will decrease in a national range. Hence without more evidence about the students number data, the author cannot conclude that this trend will continue in the next 50 years.
While the author argues that the average rent for an apartment is increasing, more evidence about the rent around Buckingham College is needed. The data of increasing rent may not comply the apartment near the college. Maybe living in an apartment near the scool is equal with that living in college dormitories or even cheaper. Considering the apartment will provide more private space and more comfortable than stay in the dorm room, student may choose to rent the apartment even if the fee is little higher. In order to support the claim that rent for apartment is increasing and student may choose a cheaper option, more informations need to be present in the argument.
Finally, while the author claims that attractive new dormitories will attract more students, more evidence is needed to evaluate the statement. The author make a causal relationship between the enrollment and the dormitories. There are likely lots of other scenarios. For example, student choose to study at Buckingham College because it has the best Computer Sceince School or maybe it provides students many opportunities to have intern in some big companies. Attractive dormitories are just part of the reason why students choose to study there. Without ruling out these possibilities, the proposal that new dormitories will appeal more students is not sound.
In conclusion, plenty of evidence should be provided in order to support the argument that Buckingham College should build more dormitories, otherwise, the argument is not strong.
|2016-10-18||Copperface||70||Read full essay|
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 497, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
...mber will decrease in a national range. Hence without more evidence about the student...
Line 7, column 156, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'makes'.
...d to evaluate the statement. The author make a causal relationship between the enrol...
Line 7, column 433, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT
Message: Use past participle here: 'interned'.
...des students many opportunities to have intern in some big companies. Attractive dormi...
Discourse Markers used:
['finally', 'first', 'firstly', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'so', 'while', 'for example', 'in conclusion']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.275268817204 0.25644967241 107% => OK
Verbs: 0.139784946237 0.15541462614 90% => OK
Adjectives: 0.101075268817 0.0836205057962 121% => OK
Adverbs: 0.047311827957 0.0520304965353 91% => OK
Pronouns: 0.00860215053763 0.0272364105082 32% => OK
Prepositions: 0.116129032258 0.125424944231 93% => OK
Participles: 0.0322580645161 0.0416121511921 78% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.6397063903 2.79052419416 95% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0365591397849 0.026700313972 137% => OK
Particles: 0.00215053763441 0.001811407834 119% => OK
Determiners: 0.124731182796 0.113004496875 110% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0301075268817 0.0255425247493 118% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00860215053763 0.0127820249294 67% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2600.0 2731.13054187 95% => OK
No of words: 425.0 446.07635468 95% => OK
Chars per words: 6.11764705882 6.12365571057 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.57801047555 99% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.392941176471 0.378187486979 104% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.287058823529 0.287650121315 100% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.192941176471 0.208842608468 92% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.112941176471 0.135150697306 84% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6397063903 2.79052419416 95% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 207.018472906 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.421176470588 0.469332199767 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 45.3174949603 52.1807786196 87% => OK
How many sentences: 19.0 20.039408867 95% => OK
Sentence length: 22.3684210526 23.2022227129 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.3890728917 57.7814097925 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.842105263 141.986410481 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3684210526 23.2022227129 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.578947368421 0.724660767414 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 3.58251231527 84% => OK
Readability: 51.0743034056 51.9672348444 98% => OK
Elegance: 2.16483516484 1.8405768891 118% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.503008501455 0.441005458295 114% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.166975227719 0.135418324435 123% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0933021997468 0.0829849096947 112% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.624547777782 0.58762219726 106% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.176253848889 0.147661913831 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.222203209127 0.193483328276 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.111267638806 0.0970749176394 115% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.457949715456 0.42659136922 107% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.100578992009 0.0774707102158 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.37746464487 0.312017818177 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.097821851886 0.0698173142475 140% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.33743842365 120% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.87684729064 29% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.82512315271 145% => OK
Positive topic words: 10.0 6.46551724138 155% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 5.36822660099 37% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.82389162562 177% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 14.657635468 116% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.