The assumption made by the director of student housing is related with the necessity to build new dormitories at Buckingham College. This assumption should be reviewed for some reasons.
Firstly, a better attention should be given to the research that states that levels in the amount of students that might enroll Buckingham College will increase in the next decades. The problem is that the memo is making a projection for the next 50 years based in the current levels of enrollment at the college. This might be a dangerous sort of projection since it forsakes past years levels of enrollment resulting in a narrow projection that will be considered as a reference for a huge investment which will impact the college for many decades ahead.
Secondly, the reasons why off-campus apartment has increased rent prices should be investigated. For instance, students might be renting these apartments more frequently resulting in more investments and demand for these places and as a consequence the prices could be higher. In this scenario, even considering the higher rent prices students might prefer to share rents in off-campus abodes that could be next to places they like or next to places that offer better services than the college campus which might involve services like gym, coffee shops and other ones.
Finally, the impacts of this sort of investment should be carefully analyzed. Raising the quantities of dormitories means spend a lot of money in the housing section of the college and this can impact in aspects such as the college fees and budget. If the Buckingham College would need to increase the tuition fees in order to recovery the investment made in the dormitories or if the college drop investments in other areas such as library and laboratories to build more dormitories, than this investments in housing might have negative impacts in the college, resulting in less people interested in study at Buckingham’s.
In conclusion, the statements made in the memo should be better analyzed in order to be sure about such an important investment. To reinforce the argument made in the memo it’s necessary to make a broader research about the amount of people interested in studying at this college in the next decades. Also, the reasons why off-campus apartment are facing a price increase should be reviewed in order to know exactly what is causing this rise; finally, the impacts this kind of investment can have in Buckingham College as a whole should be better evaluated.
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. better to accept the trend is true. but try to find loopholes from the trend. for example, maybe in the future, most of students will be from the city and they may live with their parents.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 413 350
No. of Characters: 2055 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.508 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.976 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.696 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.191 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.38 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.643 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 491, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...atories to build more dormitories, than this investments in housing might have negat...
^^^^
Line 7, column 576, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...ve impacts in the college, resulting in less people interested in study at Buckingha...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, for instance, in conclusion, kind of, sort of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2107.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 413.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10169491525 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81313212261 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.430992736077 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 652.5 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 85.7961513813 57.8364921388 148% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.5 119.503703932 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.5 23.324526521 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.92857142857 5.70786347227 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.216850480244 0.218282227539 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0925446393325 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0880834078035 0.0701772020484 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147454388302 0.128457276422 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0760396319858 0.0628817314937 121% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.3 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.3550499002 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.55 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.