The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College To serve the housing needs of our students Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories Buckingham s enrollment is growing and based on current tren

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.

"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The director of student housing at Buckingham college concludes that attractive new dormitories would encourage the enrollment of students in future. To support his recommendation, the director provides evidences like growing students enrollment, increasing average rent. However, there are three flaws that director should take into consideration and provide sufficient evidence to substantiate his argument.
First of all, the author assumes that the enrollment is growing and based on current trends will double over next 50 years. It is also possible that the growing enrollement has been for only three years. It is also possible that the enrollment may drastically reduce in the years afterwards. The author should provide further evidences like exact trend of the past 20 years and the basis for argument that the trend will continue in further years. He should also provide appropriate adequate reasoning why will the prospective students enroll in higher numbers in Buckingham College.
Secondly, The author assumes that the dormitory space will be inadequate if the current trends of students enrollment continues. It is possible that students don't prefer to live on-campus and stay off-campus for multiple reasons like part-time jobs, cheaper rent, cheaper fooding etc. Perhaps the dormitory is space is already large enough that it can accomodate all the students enrolled even if the current trend of students enrollment continues. The author fails to provide the exact statistics, so, it is also possible that dorimitory space will not be a major problem. The author should, thus, provide further evidences like currenly enrolled students in the college, students living off-campus, average rent prices and other cost comparision on-campus and off-campus.
Thirdly, the author assumes that the average rent for an apartment in the town has risen in recent years so students will find difficult o afford off-campus housing. It is possible that the although rent has risen the space of new apartments has increased and can accomodate higher number of students than previously cheaper apartments. Students can stay off-campus in apartments by sharing their rent costs. It is also possible that GDP has risen in recent years and the rise in average rent of apartment is not a big deal. It is also likely that students get highly paid part-time jobs readily and can easily afford increased average rent.
In conclusion, the argument is not as persuasive as it sounds. The author should provide further statistical evidences to bolster his argument. His failure to substantiate evidence will dramatically diminish the persuasiveness of the argument.

Votes
Average: 5.8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 140, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...ld encourage the enrollment of students in future. To support his recommendation, the dir...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 158, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...continues. It is possible that students dont prefer to live on-campus and stay off-c...
^^^^
Line 4, column 433, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eir rent costs. It is also possible that GDP has risen in recent years and the ri...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus, in conclusion, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2249.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 413.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.44552058111 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81942311114 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.450363196126 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 690.3 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.5227243547 57.8364921388 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.095238095 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6666666667 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.85714285714 5.70786347227 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.226736633639 0.218282227539 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.078964576556 0.0743258471296 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101422481205 0.0701772020484 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.136687371197 0.128457276422 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102768384527 0.0628817314937 163% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.3550499002 90% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.33 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 414 350
No. of Characters: 2206 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.511 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.329 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.763 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.889 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.364 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.153 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5