The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The memo put-forth to the president of HobCo,Inc. by New Ventures Consulting stated a claims that, according to their research if a new hobby shop is opened in Grilldon, it will attract many enthusiastic hobby customers in that area. This conclusion is based on many assumption made by the new ventures consulting, also did not mention any clarifying or supporting information.
First Of All, the author made a statement that there isn't any hobby shops in southeastern grilldon, but it doesnt mean that if there is no hobby shops in that area it will surely attaract many customers. The author does not take into considartion any past record of hobby shops may be opened in that area and doesnt work well which resulted to close such bussiness.Because there isnt any hobby shops now, doesnt mean that there were never have been any such hobby shops. If the author have provided any old statistics regarding hobby shops in that area it would have surely supported the conclusion.
Furthermore, author states that hobby business has increased 300 percent in Grilldon region. But it does not mean that if a business florished in overly grilldon region has also work in same way in southeastern part of grilldon. Because hobbiest in overall region any a particular part of region could be different. They have not provide the statistics of hobby business of southeastern part of griildon which fails to support the strong conclusion made by the author.
Thirdly, Author stated that grilldon have a large no. of population of retiree and have ample time to devote to hobies. But the major hobbiest consist of the younger generation of society which are enthausistic about new things and inventions. Though retiree have amply time to devote to hobbies, but they may not be have much interest in doing such things, since they are not such curious as the younger generation is. Therefore it does not helps to draw the conclusion that higher population of retiree will be a part of customers for new hobby shop.
Therefore, it is clear that author conclusion is based on many unsupported assumptions and hence such claim can be flawed.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1736 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.796 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.58 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.746 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.383 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.667 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.144 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 45, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , Inc
...memo put-forth to the president of HobCo,Inc. by New Ventures Consulting stated a cl...
^^^^
Line 1, column 85, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a claim' or simply 'claims'?
Suggestion: a claim; claims
...,Inc. by New Ventures Consulting stated a claims that, according to their research if a ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 263, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun assumption seems to be countable; consider using: 'many assumptions'.
Suggestion: many assumptions
... that area. This conclusion is based on many assumption made by the new ventures consulting, al...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 54, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
... the author made a statement that there isnt any hobby shops in southeastern grilldo...
^^^^
Line 2, column 108, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... shops in southeastern grilldon, but it doesnt mean that if there is no hobby shops in...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 309, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...by shops may be opened in that area and doesnt work well which resulted to close such ...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 365, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Because
... which resulted to close such bussiness.Because there isnt any hobby shops now, doesnt ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 379, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...d to close such bussiness.Because there isnt any hobby shops now, doesnt mean that t...
^^^^
Line 2, column 405, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...Because there isnt any hobby shops now, doesnt mean that there were never have been an...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 471, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e never have been any such hobby shops. If the author have provided any old statis...
^^
Line 3, column 229, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e way in southeastern part of grilldon. Because hobbiest in overall region any a partic...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 330, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'provided'.
Suggestion: provided
...egion could be different. They have not provide the statistics of hobby business of sou...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 420, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...h curious as the younger generation is. Therefore it does not helps to draw the conclusio...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 442, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'help'
Suggestion: help
...er generation is. Therefore it does not helps to draw the conclusion that higher popu...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, regarding, so, therefore, third, thirdly, thus, well, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1772.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 359.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93593314763 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35284910392 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72424537596 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 204.123752495 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.465181058496 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 546.3 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.6256671308 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.75 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4375 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0625 5.70786347227 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.21202322271 0.218282227539 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0792694630052 0.0743258471296 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.077758003552 0.0701772020484 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119905827247 0.128457276422 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105818418093 0.0628817314937 168% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.