The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulty obtaining reliable supplies of high-quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our popular alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. Given the outcry from our customers when we discontinued this product and the fact that none of our competitors offers a comparable product, we can expect pent-up consumer demand for our alpaca coats. Due to this demand and the overall increase in clothing prices, we can predict that Sartorian's alpaca overcoats will be more profitable than ever before."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The new vice president of men’s clothing manufacturing company suggests reinstating production of Alpaca overcoats as the company at this time has a reliable supplier and no competition producing the same product. The production of alpaca overcoat was stopped five years ago, and supposedly, customers asked about this product, therefore, the author assumes that the company can increase the price of the product and level up the profit. The vice-presidents suggestion could be quite plausible; nevertheless, the author needs to answer many questions to verify it.
First and foremost, the author suggests that the product will be popular as it was five years ago. However, he needs to provide hard data proving that it will be the case in current circumstances. Quite likely the product was popular among certain group of customers which found supply for their demand somewhere else. What happened five years ago might not render true now. It would help if author provide a customer survey results which shows true picture of customer’s reaction to alpaca’s overcoat.
Secondly, the author claims that no competitors offer comparable product, nevertheless, more information needed to bolster this claim. It could be the case, that other companies offer overcoats with slightly different material and design and very good pricing. Also, quite possible that no one offers the same coat because it is out of style and not fashionable any more.
Thirdly, the prediction that Sartorian’s alpaca overcoats will be more profitable then ever before is rather vague and unsupported. The financial situation on the market is likely to have changed bringing customers who unwilling to spend a lot of money for overcoat. Therefore, the increase in profits might not prove effective. Customers might consider the new old product quite expensive. Therefore thorough in-depth analysis of pricing policy would be helpful in this respect.
In sum, the vice-president have outlined his suggestion in memo that needs to be bolsters by further analysis and addressed with obvious evidences since five years have passed from the time when the product was in demand. Many factors could have changed: the competition, tastes and financial situation of customers. In addition, the author should show statistical figures to make the argument more warranted.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 366 350
No. of Characters: 1926 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.374 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.262 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.693 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.263 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.906 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.054 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5