In the given argument the author, new vice president of Sartorian, claims that their company’s profit will increase if they again start selling the alpaca overcoat which they used to sell 5 years ago. To support the claim, the author made many evidences, and on meticulously going through the evidences, it is found that the authors claim is vague and does not stand strong. More specific information and data are required to strengthen the argument, otherwise based on the given assumptions the argument stands weak.
Firstly, the author states that 5 years ago the production of alpaca overcoat was discontinued by the company as reliable high quality wool fabric supplies were difficult to obtain. Then he goes on stating that now they have a new fabric supplier and thus then should resume the production. More data is required here to bolster the evidence provided. He tells that there was a time when the company faced difficulties to obtain supplies, and at that time the production was discontinued. He does not mention that the production was discontinued directly because of getting supplies, there could be many more reasons like people were not liking the product, etc. More statistics is required regarding the discontinuation of the product so that we can get the actual idea. Then he goes on telling that they have a new supplier of fabric now. Here more proper data regarding the supplier is needed that whether the supplier is providing high quality fabric or not and also for how long will they get the supplies of wool.
Then he mentions that this coat should sell very well since it is not offered to the customers for five years and also their major competitor no longer makes an alpaca coat. It can be that their major competitor no longer makes the product, but many new companies could have come up who sells the product which can be a competitor to them. So much more information of the current market is required regarding the selling of these coats. It can also be that people stopped liking the product as in these five years more new better products have come to the market which are good quality, long lasting and cheap. So, a proper statistic of the customers and related products are required here so that the author can bolster his argument.
The author mentions that the price of clothing has increased in last five years. A much more information is required here, whether the price of men’s clothing has increased or not as the company deals with only men’s clothing. Or if the price has increased for men, there is a question that whether the customers are still interested in buying the alpaca clothes. A complete survey is required from the place where this company resembles. And if they are interested, whether they will pay an increased price for that particular stuff or not.
Therefore, if all such information and statistics which are mentioned in the above paragraph, regarding the supplier, competitors, market, and the customers, are properly discussed, the author’s argument can get strengthen. Without providing such details, the author’s argument is based on vague assumptions and does not stand true and is weak in many cases.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 538 350
No. of Characters: 2590 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.816 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.814 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.506 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.548 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.54 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 630, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
... could be many more reasons like people were not liking the product, etc. More statistics is re...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, regarding, so, still, then, therefore, thus, well, in many cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2679.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 538.0 441.139720559 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97955390335 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81610080973 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66724479586 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.42936802974 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 814.5 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.4824469958 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.47826087 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3913043478 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.13043478261 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184675635385 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.054015176087 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0663577855617 0.0701772020484 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0920406669254 0.128457276422 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0512347287501 0.0628817314937 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.9 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.