The following appeared in a memo from the owner of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The memo states that the owner of a prominent chain of cheese stores believes that the best way to maximise profit is to stock more domestic variety and discontinue stocking of imported variety. This memo is based on the findings of the sales reports in the newest stores and also survey by the magazine , “Cheeses of the World”. However before this memo can be implemented the following arguments must be taken into consideration.
Firstly, The memo states that “ five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin”. Here we have to note that only the newest stores have been a part of the decision. Maybe the newest stores were opened in less prominent cities with less per-capita income , making them prefer cheaper domestic cheese rather than expensive imported variety. Maybe the country is passing through a rescission phase where people are willing to pay less for the same item for the short term. It could also be that the customers who are experiencing the restaurant the first time want to judge the restaurant based on domestic cheese. If either of these issues is true then the argument would not hold ground.
Secondly, The price of imported cheese is cheaper compared to that of domestic cheese. This means that less quantity of imported cheese sales can make up for large quantities of domestic sales. Hence we can optimise more high quality cheese occupying less space which could increase profits. The tradeoff of domestic and imported cheese shelving must be studied by experts for the right tradeoff.
Lastly, The survey of the magazine “Cheeses of the world” cannot be relied upon due to the following issues. The owner does not specify the location where the survey was sampled. It doesn't specify the demographic that had taken part in the survey. Maybe the people of all age groups were not sampled , maybe the survey was not a good mix of the rich , middle class and the poor , since the rich usually prefer imported cheese. If these issues are true then argument doesn't hold water.
In conclusion the argument as it stands now is deeply flawed due to its reliance on unwarranted assumptions and inherent bias. If the author is able to answer all the above questions with more evidence( scientific and systematic surveys , models followed by other competitors), then it is possible to fully validate the viability of the proposal the owner has proposed.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 407 350
No. of Characters: 1964 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.492 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.826 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.379 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.492 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.298 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 304, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...t stores and also survey by the magazine , “Cheeses of the World”. However before ...
^^
Line 1, column 331, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... the magazine , “Cheeses of the World”. However before this memo can be implemented the...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 296, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...inent cities with less per-capita income , making them prefer cheaper domestic che...
^^
Line 2, column 655, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...he restaurant based on domestic cheese. If either of these issues is true then the...
^^
Line 3, column 194, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...for large quantities of domestic sales. Hence we can optimise more high quality chees...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 345, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...of domestic and imported cheese shelving must be studied by experts for the right...
^^
Line 4, column 8, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...experts for the right tradeoff. Lastly, The survey of the magazine “Cheeses of t...
^^
Line 4, column 183, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...cation where the survey was sampled. It doesnt specify the demographic that had taken ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 300, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...eople of all age groups were not sampled , maybe the survey was not a good mix of...
^^
Line 4, column 302, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ple of all age groups were not sampled , maybe the survey was not a good mix of t...
^^
Line 4, column 351, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...he survey was not a good mix of the rich , middle class and the poor , since the r...
^^
Line 4, column 379, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... of the rich , middle class and the poor , since the rich usually prefer imported ...
^^
Line 4, column 429, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...he rich usually prefer imported cheese. If these issues are true then argument doe...
^^
Line 4, column 468, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... If these issues are true then argument doesnt hold water. In conclusion the argument...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 235, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...idence scientific and systematic surveys , models followed by other competitors, t...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, however, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2022.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 406.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9802955665 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48881294772 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51133728687 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51724137931 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 628.2 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.0860879225 57.8364921388 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.1 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.8 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.25449101796 285% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.306662665522 0.218282227539 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0838191907252 0.0743258471296 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0822289263472 0.0701772020484 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156531956328 0.128457276422 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0840752699815 0.0628817314937 134% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.