The following appeared in a memo from the owner of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author of the memo concludes that they will improve profits by stacking domestic cheeses and discontinue imported ones in all their stores. However, that conclusion is based on a several number of inadequately unsupported assumptions. Without further information about store and customer preferences evidence and the effect of this on the general profits we can’t determine whether the author’s conclusion is valid.
To begin the argument, the author claims that in order to increase benefits they need to evaluate or survey the cheeses that sell the most. However that evidence relies on the assumption that one new store and the five best selling cheeses can give enough information for decision making in the future. Furthermore, the survey by Cheeses of World magazine states that there is an increasing preference for domestic cheeses. These are numerous factors that have not been taken into account. For example, claiming for selling mostly domestic cheddar cheeses at their newest store is not an indicator that this is true. Perhaps these chesses are on sale and cheaper and the income does not surpass the one from imported ones because they might be more expensive, even though sold in smaller amounts. Perhaps, this happens only in the new store and not in the others.
Another weakness is expecting an increase of profits and decision making based on a survey. The survey by Cheeses of World magazine states that there is an increasing preference for domestic cheeses. For instance, the subscribers of the magazine are preferring more domestic cheeses, but that does not mean that they do not like imported cheese. In addition, the memo does not show the number of the subscribers and the percentage they take in the USA population. On the other hand, if the author were to provide a more comprehensive list of percentages of cheese preferences than the claim of stacking domestic cheeses instead of imported ones would be more convincing.
Most strikingly, the memo assumes that the benefits might grow through cutting the expenses by limiting inventory. This is untenable. The author assumes that domestic cheeses do not need a full inventory. If that is the case, the claim of reducing expenses and increasing benefits comes into question. We do not have enough information on how the inventory expenses vary from domestic to imported cheeses. Furthermore we have no evidence that the stores will cut stacking imported cheeses.
This litany of unsupported assumptions seriously jeopardizes the certainty of the conclusion .The argument as it stands now is considerably flawed because is relying on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to argument the claims above and offer more evidence then it would be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the recommendation of cutting the stacking of imported cheeses and going toward to more domestic cheeses will increase income.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 470 350
No. of Characters: 2405 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.656 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.117 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.674 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 191 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 154 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.435 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.737 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.435 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.303 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 184, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun number seems to be countable; consider using: 'several numbers'.
Suggestion: several numbers
... However, that conclusion is based on a several number of inadequately unsupported assumptions...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 140, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... survey the cheeses that sell the most. However that evidence relies on the assumption ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 442, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...for domestic cheeses. These are numerous factors that have not been taken into ac...
^^
Line 3, column 246, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...stance, the subscribers of the magazine are preferring more domestic cheeses, but that does no...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 272, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'benefits'' or 'benefit's'?
Suggestion: benefits'; benefit's
...aim of reducing expenses and increasing benefits comes into question. We do not have eno...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 406, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...vary from domestic to imported cheeses. Furthermore we have no evidence that the stores wil...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 93, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...pardizes the certainty of the conclusion .The argument as it stands now is conside...
^^
Line 5, column 94, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...rdizes the certainty of the conclusion .The argument as it stands now is considerab...
^^^
Line 5, column 277, Rule ID: LESS_MORE_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'?
Suggestion: than
...he claims above and offer more evidence then it would be possible to fully evaluate ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, so, then, for example, for instance, in addition, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2456.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 470.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22553191489 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65612321451 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75418443734 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.442553191489 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 777.6 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.9550677729 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.782608696 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4347826087 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.26086956522 5.70786347227 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211867665989 0.218282227539 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0658406902825 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0528660454794 0.0701772020484 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123459687864 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0397393292852 0.0628817314937 63% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.