The citizens of Forsythe have adopted healthier lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the healthiest citizens regularly eat.
In the memo from the health magazine it is stated that the citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful life styles. The supporters of this claim came to this conclusion based on the survey and the reported increase of some food products and the decrease in consuming some other ones. However before these arguments be properly evaluated three assumptions must be analyzed.
Firstly, the author presumes without concrete evidence, people are eating healthy following government nutritional recommendations. In other words, there was a survey which did not show the exact number of people surveyed and the number of foods included. Perhaps a few people are questioned. Further, the information does not clarify the percentage of increase in good foods consuming. Maybe they consume just a few of them and still eat unhealthy on the other side. If either of these surveys has merit the conclusion drawn in the original argument is significantly weakened.
Secondly, the fourfold increase in sales of foods containing Kiron brings up the claim that citizens are eating healthier than before because ingredient lowers cholesterol. The supporters in the argument prematurely assume that there is an increase in sales of these foods. However, this might not the case. Perhaps only a few people are buying these foods compared with the rest which might be much more. In a perfect time all people might choose to consume these foods, but in reality they do not.
Thirdly, the claim states that there is a trend, evident in reduced sales of Sulia, a food that few healthy people eat. This adds up to the unreasoned assumptions that people are making healthier choices. This is not true. Perhaps they are buying more Kiron products but they are not buying sulia containing items.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to support the claims above and offer more evidence perhaps in the form of accurate information, then it will be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the statement that people are eating healthier than before.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 351 350
No. of Characters: 1751 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.328 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.989 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.6 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.55 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.158 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.286 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.046 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 290, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... decrease in consuming some other ones. However before these arguments be properly eval...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 212, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... did not show the exact number of people surveyed and the number of foods include...
^^
Line 2, column 469, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... still eat unhealthy on the other side. If either of these surveys has merit the c...
^^
Line 4, column 77, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... is a trend, evident in reduced sales of Sulia, a food that few healthy people ea...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1798.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 351.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12250712251 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67871423243 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.524216524217 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 560.7 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.728097644 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.9 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.55 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.152948900489 0.218282227539 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0423494431377 0.0743258471296 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0431567764591 0.0701772020484 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0863833790798 0.128457276422 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0209907236138 0.0628817314937 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.3799401198 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.12 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.