The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of a large, highly diversified company."Ten years ago our company had two new office buildings constructed as regional headquarters for two regions. The buildings were erected by different constructio

The vice president of the company recommends Zeta to excute the new buliding porject in stead of Alpha company. It is argued that the two building companies had constructed two regional heaquaters for two regions for the company ten years ago. During these years, the cost of maintenance and enery consumption fo the two headquaters varied which shows the buliding that Zeta had constructed consumpted these fees less even if the buliding cost were more than the buliding which Alpha constructed, so the vice president concludes that the Zeta has a better working quality and offer the advice mentioned previously. While this suggestion is problematic because there are some loopholes from the beginning to the end. Every evidence should be rescrutinized carefully.

To begin with, the quality of the two headquaters cannot represent the working levels of the two buiding company right now. Firstyl ,the vice president does not tell us where the two bulidings locate, thus the buiding cost can be varied with high possiblity due to the different regions. Maybe the buliding constructed by alpha is in some placce suitable for construction while the Zeta's project place was full of rocks and the basement was hard to be digged because of the complicated land condition. Let alone there may be earthquakes or tornadoes which should be taken into consideration prior and duiring the constructing. So the cost varied make sense while it is not a merit of either of the compnay. Secondly, the maitenance s of the two companies are not comparable, too. The author does not tell us what the two branches in the two headquater mainly operate as well as how many people are working in thw two places, these fatcors are significant to a buildings use, thus the cost of maitences and energy consumption are different possibly. For example, if the buliding construted by Alpha locates at Sydney, the tax will be reduced if the buliding's lights were all on during the nights, while if the headquater built by Zeta is in China, the first target of the buliding is to save energy as possible as they can. Thus this difference could not prove the construction quality as well.

In addition, the two headquaters has been in use for ten years, which means the construction quality may evovle during the decade, thus the two buliding companies' construction quality could not determined by the work they made ten years ago. Accordingly, due to the time was not short, the running condtions may varied between the two companies. If the vice president want to start the new building project, he should not take the two headquaters into consideration of choosing the new partner, let alone the promise of Alpha which promised lower cost in construtions which may cause severe construction qualities.

In conclusion, the suggestion by the vice president is not compelling by the date and evidence given. To make a wise choice, the vie president should maike a wide suvrey of the two companies as well as not ignore other good companies.

Votes
Average: 5.5 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 86, Rule ID: IN_STEAD_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'instead of'?
Suggestion: instead of
...Zeta to excute the new buliding porject in stead of Alpha company. It is argued that the tw...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 132, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e two buiding company right now. Firstyl ,the vice president does not tell us wher...
^^
Line 3, column 1324, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...to save energy as possible as they can. Thus this difference could not prove the con...
^^^^
Line 5, column 195, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'determine'
Suggestion: determine
...ompanies construction quality could not determined by the work they made ten years ago. Ac...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 126, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... evidence given. To make a wise choice, the vie president should maike a wide suvrey of...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, thus, well, while, for example, in addition, in conclusion, as well as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2516.0 2260.96107784 111% => OK
No of words: 506.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97233201581 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7428307748 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77434037014 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.462450592885 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 778.5 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 86.2055779057 57.8364921388 149% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.421052632 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.6315789474 23.324526521 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.15789473684 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.308142420954 0.218282227539 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101388449562 0.0743258471296 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101079936456 0.0701772020484 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.204619939975 0.128457276422 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0677249258486 0.0628817314937 108% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.3550499002 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.08 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.0 12.3882235529 137% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 506 350
No. of Characters: 2465 1500
No. of Different Words: 236 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.743 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.872 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.715 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.632 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.583 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.842 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.483 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5