In this memo, the vice president of the manufacturing company argues that the main reason of superior safety record in Panoply factory is due to the workers in this company had one-hour shorter work shifts. He concludes that the shorter working hours could offer those workers sufficient time to relax or sleep, in that according to the author, the fatigue and less sleep time of workers are important reason for many on-the-job accidents. While the author's conclusion is problematic and there are some loopholes in it. Let's reexamine them carefully.
To begin with, besides the similar prodcuts that both of the two companies make, we could not compare the two companies' on-the-job safety without other important evidence. Firstly, as we do not know the sacle of the two factories, it is possbile there are much more workers in the author's factory where there probably could be more accidents at work. Secondly, as we do not know the producing procedures of the two companies which may vary, we could not get the author's conclusion, either. In that maybe the technology that the Panoply used was more advanced and safer, there could be less accidents.Likewise, the maybe the working rules of the two company are different which could incur difference in reality. For example, with more specific working rules and disciplines, the workers in Panoly could be more aware of taking care of themselves. Thirdly, the education backgrounds of the workers may vary ,thus they could have different attitude on work and safety. The more cultivatied people usually know the importance of safety at work, moreover, ther are more skilled at work which could let them avoid some danger then.
In addition, whether the shorter work shifts could help reduce the number of the on-the-job accidents is still in question. Or in other word, maybe the less accidents at work in Panoly may not be ascribe to the less working time.In that there is no obvious connection between the fewer accidents and fewer working time. If the employees get off from work early, the time are totally up to them. Thus they could sleep as the ideal choice that the atuhor wants.While they could do other business likewise. For example, for the youngers, thet could play computer games for longer time or hang out with friends, even apply for part-time jobs. While all of these activities could consume their energy, which on the other hand, could make they more tired at work, in the end, as the author cites, the fatigue causes on-the-job accidents.
In conclusion, I really comprehend this considerable vice president, while the author's conclusion is not convincing. If the author wants to further the study and find out the real reason of fewer accidents at work in Panoply. There are more wide survey required.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 468 350
No. of Characters: 2259 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.651 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.827 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.398 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.677 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.503 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.169 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 451, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...or many on-the-job accidents. While the authors conclusion is problematic and there are...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 521, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...tic and there are some loopholes in it. Lets reexamine them carefully. To begin w...
^^^^
Line 3, column 282, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...bile there are much more workers in the authors factory where there probably could be m...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 463, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...es which may vary, we could not get the authors conclusion, either. In that maybe the t...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 586, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun accidents is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...more advanced and safer, there could be less accidents.Likewise, the maybe the worki...
^^^^
Line 3, column 601, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Likewise
...nd safer, there could be less accidents.Likewise, the maybe the working rules of the two...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 906, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...tion backgrounds of the workers may vary ,thus they could have different attitude ...
^^
Line 5, column 153, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun accidents is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...n question. Or in other word, maybe the less accidents at work in Panoly may not be ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 230, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...not be ascribe to the less working time.In that there is no obvious connection bet...
^^
Line 5, column 396, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...early, the time are totally up to them. Thus they could sleep as the ideal choice th...
^^^^
Line 5, column 460, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: While
... the ideal choice that the atuhor wants.While they could do other business likewise. ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 460, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... the ideal choice that the atuhor wants.While they could do other business likewise. ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 15, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... on-the-job accidents. In conclusion, I really comprehend this considerable vi...
^^
Line 7, column 81, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... considerable vice president, while the authors conclusion is not convincing. If the au...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 248, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'surveys'?
Suggestion: surveys
...at work in Panoply. There are more wide survey required.
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, first, firstly, if, likewise, may, moreover, really, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly, thus, while, for example, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2320.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 465.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98924731183 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5721329146 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.470967741935 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 720.9 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.7432507125 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.0 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.25 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.95 5.70786347227 174% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 15.0 5.25449101796 285% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.152817612331 0.218282227539 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.052346353146 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0462801220189 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10336511674 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0323839571162 0.0628817314937 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.14 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.