In this statement, the author tells us that due to the Delany Personnel Firm which offered the some of the laid-off employees from XYZ company, they got jobs faster than those did not receive the help of Delany from the XYZ company. However, it was proposed by the company that they would displace the cooperation with Delany, instead, they would turn to the Walsh, another pesonnel Firm. While the author casts doubts on this decision in that the Delany was better than Walsh in that only half of the laid-off employees found work eight years ago when the XYZ paid Walsh to offer assistence to their laid-off workers. Besides, the scale of the Delany is bigger than Walsh. But the evidence cited by the author are problematic, because there are some loopholes in it, we should evaluate them carefully.
To begin with, the numbers of the laid-off employees who got work again were not accurate. Firstly, we do not know how many the wokers who lost their work eight years ago got trained by the Walsh, the percentage of these people was not metioned in the statement, thus the nubmber of these people got work after the training in the Walsh was unclear. Threre was a possiblity that all of the laid-off workers got jobs when they finish the training in the Walsh. Besides,they author does not mention wehter the XYZ company was in cooperation with Delany, too. The data from the Delany eight years ago was still not given.
In addition, eight years passed , the condtion of the Walsh comopany now was not given by the author. Thus the Walsh company could be a better choice for the XYZ in that during eight-year development, this company has a made great progress and it could train the laid-off workers better than Delany. So the present data is required before making decision.
Moreover, the conditon of the Delany at present is not convicing to be a better personnel firm. In that the bigger staff and more branch officies merely means that they got a bigger network it would not help XYZ company to solve the problems of their own. Maybe the Delany is better at training electricity workers while there are few new wokers needed in the place where the XYZ locates at.
In all, the evidence of the author are not compelling. To make the statement more covincing, there are additiional data required, including the condtion of the XYZ company as well as both of the conditions from the Walsh and Delany eight years ago and now.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 428 350
No. of Characters: 1959 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.548 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.577 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.199 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.655 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.368 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 96, Rule ID: THE_SOME_DAY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'same'?
Suggestion: same
...Delany Personnel Firm which offered the some of the laid-off employees from XYZ comp...
^^^^
Line 1, column 96, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...Delany Personnel Firm which offered the some of the laid-off employees from XYZ company, th...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 390, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...rn to the Walsh, another pesonnel Firm. While the author casts doubts on this decisio...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 289, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the statement, thus the nubmber of these people got work after the training in th...
^^
Line 3, column 381, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...s unclear. Threre was a possiblity that all of the laid-off workers got jobs when they fin...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 469, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , they
...inish the training in the Walsh. Besides,they author does not mention wehter the XYZ ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 32, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...iven. In addition, eight years passed , the condtion of the Walsh comopany now ...
^^
Line 5, column 103, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...mopany now was not given by the author. Thus the Walsh company could be a better cho...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, firstly, however, may, moreover, so, still, thus, well, while, in addition, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2015.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 427.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.71896955504 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54576487731 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.31842934739 2.78398813304 83% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.447306791569 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 609.3 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.463502929 57.8364921388 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.944444444 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7222222222 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.77777777778 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.234306761696 0.218282227539 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0798688056046 0.0743258471296 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0812682260784 0.0701772020484 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132560650645 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0845561023193 0.0628817314937 134% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 48.3550499002 135% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 98.500998004 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 17.0 12.3882235529 137% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.