The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores. “In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
First of all, are all 10 video rental stores of movies galore comparable? In other words can circumstances of one video store in downtown marston could be used for generalization and prediction for other video stores? It is possible that other video store could be located in suburbs or in downtown of other cities or could even be in rural areas. There are chances of different response at each and every store according to the locality so if any of the scenarios has any merit than the original argument is significantly weakened.
Secondly, would reducing operating hours and stock assure the operating cost and increase the profit of all ten stores, as mentioned above are the characteristics of all ten stores similar? No! we don’t know that! There are chances that in downtown marston there is some what demand of movie galore store and people are ready to accommodate there visit to the store before or up-to 6 pm rather than 9 pm, because of there competitive price range. The reduction in stock by eliminating stocks older than 5 years could also effect in sales as I would not assure increase in output, what it would insure would be less inventory nothing else. Which could not be generalized for each and every store which makes the argument tenuously weak.
Finally there are chances that it could jeopardize the reputation of movie galore as they are known for there low cost movie rental and special bargain, there are chances that due to very steep decline in sales irrespective of operating hours or operating cost they are not able to give discount or availability of same/inferior product at cheaper price at other store in the vicinity could harm there reputation, which would make the argument weak.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to answer the above mentioned questions or provide more evidence then only it is possible to evaluate the viability of reducing operating hours and limiting the stock to meet the requirements to make profit at movie galore.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 356 350
No. of Characters: 1708 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.344 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.798 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.628 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.556 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.567 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 17, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'reduce'
Suggestion: reduce
...ficantly weakened. Secondly, would reducing operating hours and stock assure the op...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 195, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...eristics of all ten stores similar? No! we don't know that! There are chances...
^^
Line 5, column 272, Rule ID: SOME_WHAT_JJ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'somewhat' (=slightly)?
Suggestion: somewhat
...ances that in downtown marston there is some what demand of movie galore store and people...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 404, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e store before or up-to 6 pm rather than 9 pm, because of there competitive pric...
^^
Line 5, column 411, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... before or up-to 6 pm rather than 9 pm, because of there competitive price range...
^^
Line 5, column 530, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[7]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...ng stocks older than 5 years could also effect in sales as I would not assure increase...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...makes the argument tenuously weak. Finally there are chances that it could jeopard...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 209, Rule ID: LESS_MORE_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'?
Suggestion: than
...oned questions or provide more evidence then only it is possible to evaluate the via...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, if, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1758.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 354.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96610169492 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33761313653 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70692965562 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491525423729 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 577.8 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 22.8473053892 140% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 99.4631872596 57.8364921388 172% => OK
Chars per sentence: 159.818181818 119.503703932 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.1818181818 23.324526521 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.81818181818 5.70786347227 154% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173538361142 0.218282227539 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0662999609737 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.058446669413 0.0701772020484 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103544662093 0.128457276422 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0169285133132 0.0628817314937 27% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.1 14.3799401198 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.0 48.3550499002 81% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.14 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.1389221557 133% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.