The vice president of Health Naturally states that they should open a new store in Plainsville. He based this recommendation on the experience that their stores are most profitable in areas where the residents care about healthy lives. In Plainsville, there is a high sell-in sports equipment, booked-out fitness classes in the local health club, and a school program that promotes regular exercise to schoolchildren. Therefore, the author comes to a conclusion to open a Health Naturally store in Plainsville. Although this recommendation might be a good idea, the conclusion relies on some assumption, which might significantly weaken the conclusion if proven wrong. Therefore, more information and evidence are necessary.
The first assumption that the full fitness classes in the local gym indicate a high demand for a healthy lifestyle might be reasonable but is not necessary. We need more information about the overall population of the city and the number of health clubs there. If we find out that there is just one health club in the town, we can’t conclude a high demand for a healthy lifestyle. This could indicate that just a tiny fraction of the Plainville inhabitants are interested in sports, but because there is just such a small supply, the classes are full. First, we need more evidence that a high amount of the population is interested in doing sports.
Second, the author concludes, out of the fact, that there are a lot of sales of running shoes and sports equipment, there has to be a high demand for healthy lives in Plainville. Also, here this conclusion might be wrong. It could be, that there are other factors involved with there are high sales in Plainville, for example, that Plainville has lower prices for sports equipment than its neighbors. We would need evidence that the sports stores in Plainville face the same conditions as their competition in the cities nearby. This fact would strengthen the argument.
Finally, the author states that due to the education program “Fitness for Life” the store in Plainville will receive many customers within the next generation. This might be true, but it isn't easy to draw this conclusion for the future. There might be some unexpected events that lower this profitable expectation of the author. Maybe there will be a new hype in the future. A healthy lifestyle is not that requested anymore from the people. Perhaps the new generation prefers to eat only natural, unprocessed food and is not interested in the assortment of Health Naturally. It could be dangerous to make a decision today based on a current trend. Therefore, this point includes uncertainty and should not be the only reason for opening a store in Plainville today.
To conclude, the recommendation of the author to open a store in Plainville might be a good idea. But the argumentation the author does might be problematic. To evaluate the proposal properly, we need more evidence for the success of the Health Naturally store. Therefore, we need more information about the statistics of Plainsville and its supply of sport possibilities, the comparability of the sport stores of Plainville to the neighbour’s cities, and possible future competition.
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 527 350
No. of Characters: 2613 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.791 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.958 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.835 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 80 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.821 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.517 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.536 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.465 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 188, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
... generation. This might be true, but it isnt easy to draw this conclusion for the fu...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, may, second, so, then, therefore, as to, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2694.0 2260.96107784 119% => OK
No of words: 526.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1216730038 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78901763229 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9513223729 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.431558935361 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 833.4 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 4.96107784431 323% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.108084093 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.2142857143 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7857142857 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.96428571429 5.70786347227 52% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.14977591826 0.218282227539 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0481273034211 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.065178006998 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0968283890445 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0677423727583 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 98.500998004 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.