The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
While it might be true what the study implies about rhesus monkeys, but there are some serious gaps while providing the results of the study.
First of all, the study reports that firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings.The study was done on only eighteen rhesus monkeys.They provide no information about how they chose these monkeys for their study.It can be possible that there are other second or third born rhesus monkeys who are are as active as the first borns but they are not included in 18 rhesus monkeys.If we can increase the number monkeys, it is possible to get different outcome.
Secondly, they are also claimimg that firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations but no additional information is provided about how do they know this fact or what kind of study they have done to find this information.
Thirdly, the study repots that first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring. It can be possible the monkeys that are chosen for the study who are having several offspring are not as healthly as the monkeys who are having their first offspring.The study says nothing about the health of the pregnant monkeys.
The accuracy of an study vastly depends on the dataset of the study.The lack of information about the dataset or small dataset can often provide misleading results. The results of this study can be severely misleading if the dataset is not standard.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 274 350
No. of Characters: 1306 1500
No. of Different Words: 131 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.069 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.766 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.32 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 92 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 34.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 23.145 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.468 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.815 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.189 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 198, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...ty levels, as do their younger siblings.The study was done on only eighteen rhesus ...
^^^
Line 3, column 249, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: They
...as done on only eighteen rhesus monkeys.They provide no information about how they c...
^^^^
Line 3, column 328, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...hey chose these monkeys for their study.It can be possible that there are other se...
^^
Line 3, column 404, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...her second or third born rhesus monkeys who are are as active as the first borns but th...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 408, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: are
...second or third born rhesus monkeys who are are as active as the first borns but they a...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 492, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...y are not included in 18 rhesus monkeys.If we can increase the number monkeys, it ...
^^
Line 9, column 107, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...r levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring. It can be possible t...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 300, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...ys who are having their first offspring.The study says nothing about the health of ...
^^^
Line 12, column 17, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... pregnant monkeys. The accuracy of an study vastly depends on the dataset of ...
^^
Line 12, column 69, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...tly depends on the dataset of the study.The lack of information about the dataset o...
^^^
Line 12, column 69, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...tly depends on the dataset of the study.The lack of information about the dataset o...
^^^
Line 12, column 166, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...t can often provide misleading results. The results of this study can be severely m...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, while, kind of, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 24.0 55.5748502994 43% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1348.0 2260.96107784 60% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 268.0 441.139720559 61% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02985074627 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.04607285448 4.56307096286 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5269212114 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 138.0 204.123752495 68% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.514925373134 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 413.1 705.55239521 59% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 19.7664670659 35% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 38.0 22.8473053892 166% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 151.194023205 57.8364921388 261% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 192.571428571 119.503703932 161% => OK
Words per sentence: 38.2857142857 23.324526521 164% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.5714285714 5.70786347227 220% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.193029320863 0.218282227539 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0945168846822 0.0743258471296 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0174530260316 0.0701772020484 25% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107331395909 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0121313443712 0.0628817314937 19% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 21.4 14.3799401198 149% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.37 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.9 12.197005988 139% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.49 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.06 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 98.500998004 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 26.5 12.3882235529 214% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 17.2 11.1389221557 154% => OK
text_standard: 17.0 11.9071856287 143% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.