In the preceding argument, the author states that higher level of cortisol comes with first monkey's baby and human's baby that lead to increase the activity level. Further, he states that the first monkey's pregnancy produce more cortisol compering with the multi-pregnancy. Hence, in the first glance it may plausible. However careful scrutiny sheds light on plethora of explanations that could undermine the value of the argument.
To begin with, the author states that first monkey's baby has higher level of cortisol when it is facing stimulus. In deed, the appropriate explanation that lacking information and experience could be the real cause of increasing the cortisol level and because they are highly dependent on their parents. Then, the test time is important indicator for the cortisol level, making the test in specific time play a major role to determine the level of cortisol. Further illustration, cortisol level at night is higher than the day time. Thus, doing the test for the first baby's monkey at night will for sure result high level even there is no stimulus.
Secondly, he states that the first human's baby has higher level of cortisol compering with other children. Another explanation might be accountable for the increase of cortisol level in firstborn humans presented in the study, that increasing cortisol might be due to strong emotions between the first baby and his parents and this feeling completely different from other siblings, and because the first baby is very dependent on his parents that will lead to high level of cortisol. Moreover, higher level of cortisol when the child see his parents after absence is part of complete reaction systems and some action is affected to increase the cortisol level by indirect way.
Thirdly, the author states that the cortisol level in the first pregnancy is higher than multi-pregnancies. The best explanation that higher level due to lack of experience, and there is a lot of changes in her body that leads to higher cortisol level and is not the main cause is the first pregnancy. Furthermore, higher cortisol level due to higher level of anxiety, fear and fatigue all these factors could be the cause of higher cortisol level. Thus, is not necessarily that higher level of cortisol will transfer it to the first baby. Further elaboration, the baby presents in close system inside the uterus and is not easy to pass anythings to him. In sum, all these explanation could mitigate the value of the previous facts.
In conclusion, the author fails to provide one of the key factors. Namely, all the previous facts are equivocal. So, without complete explanation and discussion the facts the argument is unsubstantiated and opened to debate.
Essay evaluation report
correct arguments:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 448 350
No. of Characters: 2229 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.601 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.975 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.583 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.663 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.762 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.384 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.567 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.19 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 94, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'monkeys'' or 'monkey's'?
Suggestion: monkeys'; monkey's
...gher level of cortisol comes with first monkeys baby and humans baby that lead to incre...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 199, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'monkeys'' or 'monkey's'?
Suggestion: monkeys'; monkey's
...evel. Further, he states that the first monkeys pregnancy produce more cortisol comperi...
^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 617, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ts in close system inside the uterus and is not easy to pass anythings to him. In...
^^
Line 10, column 669, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this explanation' or 'these explanations'?
Suggestion: this explanation; these explanations
...y to pass anythings to him. In sum, all these explanation could mitigate the value of the previou...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2293.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 448.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11830357143 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60065326758 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66733412921 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.433035714286 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 704.7 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.9634825383 57.8364921388 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.19047619 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3333333333 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0664049576045 0.218282227539 30% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0268886485003 0.0743258471296 36% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0200641491869 0.0701772020484 29% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0439277469366 0.128457276422 34% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0139836908758 0.0628817314937 22% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.