In the given memo, the director of personnel sent to the president of the cedar company in the preceding argument is that they do not have to rehire the Good-Taste company, at seems to quite plausible at first glance. Hence, the director mentions the first point is that this company very costly and have risen there price recently. As further support, it refuses to provide meals for the employee in special diets. Finally, the director recommends to hire new local company due to their services. that will have a good impact on the employee satisfaction. However, careful scrutiny sheds light on the plethora of assumptions that could undermine the valuation of the argument.
The first piece of evidence, describe rehiring the Test company by the mistake without solid ground unacceptable, and it is better to list real causes for that. Moreover, citing a vague number like the second most expensive company in the city without know the scope and validity and how this number has adopted to appear makes the assumption weak.
The second piece of evidence, the director points that their prices has risen of the last three years, but we do not have a clear vision about this rise and the where the distribution of the increases. For example, is it on the meal, on the services, or what is the causes of the increasing prices, is it due to food price, or the company needs more worker that have to pay to them or lastly to the electricity price and gas use. Hence, all of these causes will face any company due to the general economic status.
Another piece of evidence, it is implausible to offer specific meals for the employee due to presence a contract that include all the rights and duties that have to follow, so it is not obligatory to prepare specific meals for any one without special permission. And describing three personal experiences and take it as strong evidence does not necessarily indicate all the employee opinion.
Last but not least, suggestion a new company like Discount Food because it is a local company and offers varied food depends on his own experience without looking to their reputation, how they work, without valid and reliable information that describe their work and assumes by this way the employee will be more pleased and satisfied.Thus, a thorough investigation considering the leverage of all possible contributors is expected. Because the author does not effectively show the connection.
Lastly, because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions, it fails to make a convincing case that they do not have to rehire the old company due to the previous assumptions has provided, and the truth that needs to have additional evidences in order to get move complete understanding of the strength and weakness of the argument.
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
the arguments are not on the right track.
In GRE, we'd better accept all data or evidence are true. It is important to find out loopholes (behind surveys or studies). Loopholes mean that we accept all surveys told are true, but there are some conditions applied, for example:
It works for time A (10 years ago), but it doesn't mean it works for time B (nowadays).
It works for location A (a city, community, nation), but it doesn't mean it works for location B (another city, community, nation).
It works for people A (a manager), but it doesn't mean it works for people B (a worker).
It works for event A (one event, project... ), but it doesn't mean it works for event B (another event, project...).
It works for A and B, but not C.
...
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 468 350
No. of Characters: 2259 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.651 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.827 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.588 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.646 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.632 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 499, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...ew local company due to their services. that will have a good impact on the employee...
^^^^
Line 5, column 262, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...on the meal, on the services, or what is the causes of the increasing prices, is ...
^^
Line 5, column 347, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'worker' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: worker
...due to food price, or the company needs more worker that have to pay to them or lastly to t...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 228, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'anyone'?
Suggestion: anyone
...bligatory to prepare specific meals for any one without special permission. And descri...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 243, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...epare specific meals for any one without special permission. And describing three...
^^
Line 9, column 336, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
...oyee will be more pleased and satisfied.Thus, a thorough investigation considering t...
^^^^
Line 9, column 434, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... all possible contributors is expected. Because the author does not effectively show th...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, hence, however, if, lastly, look, moreover, second, so, thus, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2322.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 467.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9721627409 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64867537961 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7119641713 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490364025696 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 732.6 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 102.513547123 57.8364921388 177% => OK
Chars per sentence: 145.125 119.503703932 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.1875 23.324526521 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.875 5.70786347227 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.171455952394 0.218282227539 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0546197894391 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0419053004599 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0826790259597 0.128457276422 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0478143083359 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.3550499002 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.14 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.63 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.