The following recommendation appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.
"Two years ago, the nearby town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. Therefore, the best way to improve Hopewell's economy — and generate additional tax revenues — is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."
In the memo, the mayor mentions about increasing the tax revenue in Hopewell through building a golf course and resort hotel as like in Ocean View. The conclusion thus drawn by the mayor about likelihood of golf course and resort hotel to increase the revenues in Hopewell just like in Ocean view though convincing ostensibly lies under many unwarranted assumptions which when substantiated deliberately seriously weakens the claim of the argument.
First of all, the location of both the place is not mentioned in memo. The mayor does not put light into the relevant location of both the places. It might be the case that the location of Ocean View is much accessible to people, have some extraordinary scenic beauty and composure which could have been the main factor apart from the golf courses for flourishing tourism there. The addition of golf courses and resort hotel might have been boon to their existing fame which might be lacking in Hopewell. If such a situation prevails then the assertion made by the mayor about emulating Ocean View and burgeoning economy is certainly hampered.
Secondly, during the past two years, Ocean View might have invested more in some other businesses like, recreational activities or major industrial development which might have resulted into 30 percent rise in their tax revenue. The golf course and resort hotel might have their contribution but there can be some other developments as well which have substantially supported the economy of the town. The mayor does not mention that only because of golf course or resort have the economy flourished so well. He speculates that because of them may be the economy has risen to 30 percent. If the given statement proves to be true then the claim thus made by the mayor does not hold water.
Lastly, the geographical setting of Hopewell might not support establishment of golf course of resort. The mayor just mentions about establishing golf course and resort hotels but he does not state about the feasibility of having them build there. If Hopewell has uneven terrain and non supportive geographical setting for building golf course and resort then the given conclusion is seriously weakened. It is because, the mayor claims about having these two in Hopewell like that of Ocean View is the only way to increase the tax revenue. If the above mentioned condition prevails then the conclusion is thereby challenged.
In conclusion, the claim as it stands now is based on various unfolded assumptions which need to be deliberately supported I order to draw a finite and convincing conclusion.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 428 350
No. of Characters: 2125 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.548 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.965 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.643 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.791 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.368 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.368 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 587, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...be the economy has risen to 30 percent. If the given statement proves to be true t...
^^
Line 4, column 540, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e only way to increase the tax revenue. If the above mentioned condition prevails ...
^^
Line 5, column 132, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'drawing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'order' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: drawing
...ed to be deliberately supported I order to draw a finite and convincing conclusion. ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, apart from, in conclusion, in fact, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2164.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 428.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05607476636 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.548423998 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68505014459 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.455607476636 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 664.2 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.8952789829 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.222222222 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7777777778 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.260123937903 0.218282227539 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0923968193428 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0749470415088 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150604265363 0.128457276422 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0854063683095 0.0628817314937 136% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.