The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid—a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil—as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the report, the author argues that West Meria should recommend the daily use of Ichthaid—a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil—as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. This contention is built around an observed positive correlation between fish consumption and the low number of clinal visits for cold treatment in the nearby East Maria and that colds are the most frequently given reasons for absences from school and work. Nevertheless, more information regarding situations in East Maria, the validity of the reasons given for absences, and the effectiveness of Ichthaid needs to be presented to assess the robustness of the argument.
The first piece of evidence we need to know is the situations in East Maria. Even if the number of clinical visits for cold treatment is low in East Maria, we cannot conclude that people there seldom catch colds. It is possible that people simply doesn't like visiting clinics and seeking medication and prefer to treat their colds at home. Or, people in East Maria might adopt a healthier lifestyle such as constantly exercising and going to bed early. These factors might also contribute to less people catching colds. Hence, more information about clinical visits and residents' lifestyles must be presented.
Secondly, we must acquire more reliable information about the reasons of absence from school and work. For example, students or workers might falsely claim that they are ill and cannot go to school or work. Hence, the given reason for absences cannot fully reflect the actual situation. For the aforementioned example, the number of colds would be overestimated since the reasons for absence is spurious. Therefore, we need to acquire evidence such as doctor's prescription of the absentees so that we can justifiably correlate catching colds and absenteeism.
Finally, the effectiveness of the nutritional supplement Ichthaid must be evaluated. Even if high fish consumption is beneficial in preventing colds, we cannot deduce that a chemical extracted from fish oil has a same effect. During the condensation of fish oil, many nutrients in other parts of the fish might be loss. Also, during the process of refining fish oil and extracting Ichthaid, chemical structures of the some molecules in fish oil might be modified, therefore reducing the effect of preventing colds. Hence, more results of medical studies and experiments related to the effectiveness of Ichthaid must be presented.
In conclusion, more information related to the above issues must be given to substantiate the argument that Ichthaid should be recommended for daily use to reduce the number of colds and absenteeism.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 428 350
No. of Characters: 2197 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.548 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.133 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.814 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.429 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.541 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.164 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5