The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid — a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil — as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the report, it is conluded that the main reason for absenteeism in school and work is cold, and as consumption of fish reduces cold, the daily use of Ichthaid- a nutritional supplement from fish oil- wil reduce cold and absenteeism in West Meria. However, the author supports the conclusion with three unfounded assumptions, if not substantiated, dramatically weaken the persuasiveness of the argument. Before, evaluating the argument, two pieces of evidence need to collect and analyze.
First of all, the author assumes that East Maria and West Maria are similar. However, this may not be the case. The author mentions in the argument that people in the Eest Maria visit once or twiece per year for the treatment of cold as they consume fish in very high rate. It is possible that the nature of cold in East Meria and West Meria are different. For example, the cold, the people in East Meria suffer from, is due to the seasonal change, for which consumption of fish is helpful. On the other hand, cold in West Meria is due to virus, for which consumption of fish or any supplement of fish may not be innocuous. If the case is true, then the author's comperison between East Meria and West Meria will not be valid and the argument will not hold the water.
Secondly, the author presumes that the real cause of absenteeism in West Meria is due to cold, but this may not be necessarily true. It is possible that the students and workers in the West are malinger. They just pretend that they are sick and take the advantage of sick. It is also possible that people in West Meria have different other reason for absenteeism and report in their organization that they were attacked by cold. If any of the cases are true, then the author contention that cold is the main reason for ansence in West Meria will not be reasonable.
Finally, cold may be the main reason and fish may helpful to prevent the cold, but author claim without any evidence that Ichthaid- the supplement from fish oil-will be effective. It is possible that he supplement is not contain the ingridients of fish, which is responsible to prevent cold, then the supplement will not be much helpful.
In conclustion, Ichthaid or fish consumption may be helpful to reduce cold and absenteeism; however, as it stands now, the argument relies on three unwarranted assumptions and render it as specious and untenable as possible. Therefore, the author should provide additional eveidence to support his conclusion and to make the argument cogent and reasonable.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 435 350
No. of Characters: 2033 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.567 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.674 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.595 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.895 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.795 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.561 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 195, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'malingered'.
Suggestion: malingered
...he students and workers in the West are malinger. They just pretend that they are sick a...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, for example, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2099.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 435.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.82528735632 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56690854021 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68950387628 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.406896551724 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 633.6 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.5541008676 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.473684211 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8947368421 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.73684210526 5.70786347227 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.11371696613 0.218282227539 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0458892748147 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0495739891216 0.0701772020484 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0706074470296 0.128457276422 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0517479761761 0.0628817314937 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.03 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.