The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid — a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil — as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The report in the newsletter of the West Meria Punlic Health Council recommended the daily use of a supplement derived from fish oil to prevent cold based on the study , which reported that fish consumption was able to prevent colds in the residents in East Meria. This argument, however, is rife with unwarrented assumptions, and significantly weakens the argument, asserting the need to evaluate the following three evidences before making a recommendation.
To begin with, the study reporting the prevention of cold by consuming fish in East Meria doesn't have much credibility. The study is not transparent enough to substantial information on the number of people studied on, the type of study conducted, and the presence of any kinds of biasedness. If any of these factors have been compromised in the study, the report is potentially flawed and cannot be relied upon to make any recommendations. In addition to this, the study clearly doesn't indicate the types of people studied which would seriously impact the results. For example, if such people were studied who stayed at home without commuting to work, then, the result cannot be applied to people who commute to work everyday in cold season. If these evidences have merit, the argument doesn't hold water.
In the same way, the cold might not even be the actual reason for absenteeism in schools and workplaces. Since the study itself is skewed and cannot be relied upon, it might be possible that the cause of absenteeism is something else. It is necessary to investigate properly if the absenteeism is continued during the summer season as well. For example, the students and workers in workplaces might have been facing a disease such as diarrohea which not only spreads in cold season but also affects the people in summer season due to contaminated water. Furthermore, the cause of the absenteeism might be different based on the location; the report from East Meria, therefore, is not sufficient to make similar recommendation in West Meria since the causes might not be the same in both places. The argument, failing to consider these imperative aspects related to the causes of absenteeism, is therefore, severely weakened, thereby highlighting the need to conduct a better investigation to find out the root cause in West Meria.
However, even if we consider that the absenteeism is indeed due to cold, the nutritional supplement might not be the best solution to solve the issue. Although food and supplements can improve the immunity of people, healthy lifestyle and proper living conditions can possibly have huge impact on the prevention of such climate induced problems. People living in Alaska, for instance, have developed a way of living which allows them to combat the cold weather; they have modified house structures, proper clothing, and a lifestyle that suits cold weather. The people in West Meria, however, might not have a suitable lifestyle to adapt to cold climate making them vulnerable despite using fish oil derived supplement. In this case, it might not be possible to make a clear recommendation without proper investigation, and the argument doesn't hold merit.
In conclusion, as the argument stands as of now, is severely weakened because of unwarranted assumptions regarding the cause of the absenteeism, and the study reported from East Meria. It is, therefore, essential to understand the root cause of the issue by conducting a scientific study for West Meria itself before making futher recommendations.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 573 350
No. of Characters: 2867 1500
No. of Different Words: 244 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.893 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.003 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.816 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 208 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 108 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 75 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.875 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.762 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.325 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 168, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...h oil to prevent cold based on the study , which reported that fish consumption wa...
^^
Line 2, column 91, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...of cold by consuming fish in East Meria doesnt have much credibility. The study is not...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 481, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... In addition to this, the study clearly doesnt indicate the types of people studied wh...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 719, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...e applied to people who commute to work everyday in cold season. If these evidences have...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 788, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...hese evidences have merit, the argument doesnt hold water. In the same way, the cold...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 315, Rule ID: THE_FALL_SEASON[1]
Message: Use simply 'summer'.
Suggestion: summer
... if the absenteeism is continued during the summer season as well. For example, the students and ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 265, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'can'.
Suggestion: can
... lifestyle and proper living conditions can possibly have huge impact on the prevention of s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 837, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... proper investigation, and the argument doesnt hold merit. In conclusion, as the arg...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, regarding, so, then, therefore, well, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, such as, to begin with, in the same way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 86.0 55.5748502994 155% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2938.0 2260.96107784 130% => OK
No of words: 569.0 441.139720559 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16344463972 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88402711743 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9069704281 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 258.0 204.123752495 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453427065026 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 918.0 705.55239521 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.4063166709 57.8364921388 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.904761905 119.503703932 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0952380952 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.04761904762 5.70786347227 141% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166400760488 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0550232973495 0.0743258471296 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0536436176089 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113422088132 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0573771214233 0.0628817314937 91% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 14.3799401198 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.72 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 135.0 98.500998004 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.