The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company
"According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our motes but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising."
The author of the argument argues that they should invest a larger share of the budget of Super-Screen Movie Company to tout and make the public abreast of the positive reviews that they have received. The author cites the reasons that though they have seen a rise in positive reviews from the movie reviewers during the past year, they have noticed a significant decline in the number of people who attended the movies at Super Screen Movies. This makes the author impute the lesser turnout of movie watchers to the lack of advertising and public awareness. The author here seems to rely on some unwarranted assumptions that undermine the argument. The following three paragraphs state the questions that the author must address to strengthen the argument.
What kind of movies is being displayed at the Super Screen Movies? Perhaps the public that is the target audience for Super Screen Movies have a different taste of movies. It is possible for example, the movie watchers are more inclined towards action movies, than critically acclaimed art films. Critically acclaimed movies might get them great movie reviews from reviewers but it might not be attractive enough to pander to larger crowds who have more quotidian tastes in movies. The author must thus suggest surveys that would assess the genre preferences of the majority of their target-audience, or in cases different sections of the public. This will give Super Screen Movies an idea about the movies they should display.
Moreover, is the movie theatre at a conducive location? Perhaps the location of the movie theatre is in a heavily congested area that might require hours to reach. It can be possible that there are lesser parking spaces. Such situations can be daunting for the local public and discourage them from attending the movies. Thus the author must take into consideration the location of the Super Screen Movies and that if it has any impact on the low turnouts that they have been experiencing.
Does the Super Screen Movies charge higher rates from movie watchers than their competitors or the average price? It can be possible that higher prices can make people disinterested to visit the movies. Similarly, too lower charges can make the customers to assume that the theatre is compensating for its poor service. The author must include, whether the rates that are charged by Super Screen Movies comparable to its competitors or local average rates, and how it might affect the attendance in the theatres.
Does the Super Screen Movies have appropriate or convenient show timings? It is possible that the inconvenient show timings are one of the few reasons that results in a lower turnout. For example, if the show timings coincide with the office hours then fewer people will be able to attend the movies even if they are willing to watch a movie. Moreover, too late show timings might deter people to attend the movies due to safety issues. For example, parents would not allow their kids to attend movies at late night hours. Thus the author must assess and indicate whether the show timings of Super Screen Movies are conducive for the general public and how it affects the attendance.
In sum, the above questions must be answered by the author in order to make a cogent argument. The suggestions mentioned above, like, conducting surveys of the target audience, and considering the effects of location, rates charged, and the show timings will help the author to substantiate his arguments and come to better conclusions.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 586 350
No. of Characters: 2879 1500
No. of Different Words: 245 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.92 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.913 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.446 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 222 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 133 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.929 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.498 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.393 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 578, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the genre preferences of the majority of their target-audience, or in cases diffe...
^^
Line 5, column 322, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...courage them from attending the movies. Thus the author must take into consideration...
^^^^
Line 7, column 215, Rule ID: TOO_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to lower'?
Suggestion: to lower
...erested to visit the movies. Similarly, too lower charges can make the customers to assum...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 524, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...s to attend movies at late night hours. Thus the author must assess and indicate whe...
^^^^
Line 9, column 635, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...per Screen Movies are conducive for the general public and how it affects the attendance. I...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, moreover, similarly, so, then, thus, for example, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2944.0 2260.96107784 130% => OK
No of words: 586.0 441.139720559 133% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02389078498 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.92010537223 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5249399569 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 253.0 204.123752495 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.431740614334 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 901.8 705.55239521 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.0002375945 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.142857143 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9285714286 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.35714285714 5.70786347227 41% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.295768467826 0.218282227539 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0918556121181 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.081755491777 0.0701772020484 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161427706233 0.128457276422 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0759229634045 0.0628817314937 121% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 132.0 98.500998004 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.