The following appeared in a newspaper article about law firms in the city of Megalopolis.
"In Megalopolis, the number of law school graduates who went to work for large, corporate
firms declined by 15% over the last three years, whereas an increasing number of graduates
took jobs at small, general practice firms. Even though large firms usually offer much higher
salaries, law school graduates are choosing to work for the smaller firms most likely because
they experience greater job satisfaction at smaller firms. In a survey of first-year students at a
leading law school, most agreed with the statement that earning a high salary was less
important to them than job satisfaction. This finding suggests that the large, corporate firms of
Megalopolis will need to offer graduates more benefits and incentives and reduce the number
of hours they must work."
Smaller firms have more inflix of law school graduates of Megalopolis than the large firms, and has even seen a 15% decline of graduates working in Large firms. The author cites the possible greater job satisfaction that smaller firms offer than the larger firms, to bolster the argument made. Before the Corporate firms hand out increased benefits and incentives there are certain questions and concerns that the author needs to address which otherwise weaken the argument significantly.
Does the services provided by the larger corporate firms are comparable to that of the smaller firms? It may be possible that the service offered by the larger firms are several manifolds larger in proportion than that of the smaller firms. Perhaps, this is the reason the larger firms have a higher responsibility, employee workload and a larger base of customers to cater to compared to the smaller firms. It seems plausible that the smaller firms catering to a smaller customer base may have some resources at hand that they can provide to their employees as lucrative benefits and incentives.
The survey of the first year students of a leading law school can be quesitoned based on its reliability. Perhaps, the students of first year are not yet not conversant of the technicalities and their responsibilities as law school graduates and unbeknowst of the guidance they are going to receive at the school. They might be speaking out of naievity and levity. Moreover it seems to be too small of a population to consider for a survey. For better understanding of the situation the survey must be pervasive and must consider a wider student base spanning across schools of Megalopolis.
The mention of 15% decline in graduates working at large firms may not be a reliable data because it is not undergirded by appropriate reasons of each individual leaving the company. Perhaps, a certain number of graduates working in large corporate fitms in Megalopolis had received better job offers with higer salaries at similar or even larger firms outside the Megalopolis borders.
Pertaining to the reasonings stated above the argument stands weak. The author must encourage and consider extensive surveys that consider a wider population of students from various law schools and from various years of study. More clarity should be provided regarding the reasons why the graduates have decided to leave large firms of Meganopolis and the at the same time the comparison between the larger and smaller firms should circumscribe important aspects of size of customer and types and number of services that are offered. Thus, a pervasive survey and apposite information would help the author come to a better and well thought conclusion.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 443 350
No. of Characters: 2246 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.588 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.07 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.751 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.611 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.358 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 366, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...be speaking out of naievity and levity. Moreover it seems to be too small of a populatio...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, thus, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2289.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 443.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16704288939 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58776254615 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79648534677 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.451467268623 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 709.2 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.4548277536 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.166666667 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6111111111 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.83333333333 5.70786347227 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.262783975258 0.218282227539 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0854998972387 0.0743258471296 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0792429791135 0.0701772020484 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160684343973 0.128457276422 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0715941188544 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.0 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.