Among all students who graduated from Hooper University over the past five years, more
physical science majors than social science majors found permanent jobs within a year of
graduation. In a survey of recent Hooper University graduates, most physical science majors
said they believed that the prestige of Hooper University's physical science programs helped
them significantly in finding a job. In contrast, social science majors who found permanent
employment attributed their success to their own personal initiative. Therefore, to ensure that
social science majors find permanent jobs, Hooper University should offer additional social
science courses and hire several new faculty members who already have national reputations
in the social sciences.
The author of the article in the recent issue of college newspaper suggests that the Hooper University must arrange for additional degrees in social science courses and also bring new faculties of national acclaim in social science courses to boost the number of social science majors landing permanent jobs. The author cites the survey conducted amongst the graduates and reason that the prestige of the physical science courses of the university have a role to play in the physical science graduates landing higher number of permanent jobs. Whereas in case of the social science graduates the survey states that the social science graduates who had landed a permanent jobs ascribe their success to their own capabilities.The arguments made by the author seem to be based on some unwarranted assumptions that the author must address in order to make an cogent case. The unwarranted assumptions are highlighted in the following paragraphs.
Firstly, the survey, the author relies on mainly to draw his inferences has a questionable credibility. Perhaps the survey was conducted by the students and was poorly executed. It is possible that since the source or the body that conducted the survey is unknown one might dismiss the survey findings as factitious or that they have been subject to skulduggery. The author must ensure the source and credibility of the survey conducted before citing it in the article and drawing inferences, as the readers would be readily discarding it on grounds of minimal credibility.
Secondly, the prestige of the Hooper University's physical science courses stated by some of the graduates is not quatifiable. There are no records provided that establish the "prestige" broached in the argument and is rather a qualititative statement that again has no reliable source. It is possible that the "prestige" the author cites in his article has been a figment of the pride of the physical science graduates owing to their high permanent placement records. Thus, the author needs to investigate the "prestige" and its credibility and also provide some quantifiable factor upon which the higher placement rates for physical science graduates can be based.
Lastly, without conducting a detailed survey and finding out the factors that has been the cause of the low placement rates for social science, hiring new nationally acclaimed faculties and expounding courses in social sciences might not be a favourable decision. Perhaps, the demand for social science graduates is less in the area or in the country. It is possible that there are external factors like rapid industrialization that requires larger number of physical science graduates as compared to social science graduates. The author must take into consideration the contemporary scenario and cite if there are such plausible external factors that has its influence in the uneven permanent job scene. Without the above suggested investigation the university might suffer unncessesary losses on its resources and the existing students might be directly affected by the same.
In sum, the argument stands weak and the author needs to incorporate the above suggested details in his argument to strengthen it. If the author establishes the credibility of the survey, investigate and accordingly cite the external factors if any, that might have a significant effect on the placement records of the graduates, then a cogent case can be made that the University can even rely on does not incur losses.
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 544, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...anding higher number of permanent jobs. Whereas in case of the social science graduates...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 724, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...their success to their own capabilities.The arguments made by the author seem to be...
^^^
Line 1, column 852, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...he author must address in order to make an cogent case. The unwarranted assumption...
^^
Line 3, column 85, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...itys physical science courses stated by some of the graduates is not quatifiable. There are...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, first, firstly, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, then, thus, whereas
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2962.0 2260.96107784 131% => OK
No of words: 555.0 441.139720559 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33693693694 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85370353223 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0453829974 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.423423423423 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 936.9 705.55239521 133% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 73.7585339445 57.8364921388 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 155.894736842 119.503703932 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.2105263158 23.324526521 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.63157894737 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.296653641674 0.218282227539 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10186274404 0.0743258471296 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0983324203879 0.0701772020484 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.159392533179 0.128457276422 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.112173352635 0.0628817314937 178% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.3 14.3799401198 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.58 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.28 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.83 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 132.0 98.500998004 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.9071856287 151% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 544, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...anding higher number of permanent jobs. Whereas in case of the social science graduates...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 724, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...their success to their own capabilities.The arguments made by the author seem to be...
^^^
Line 1, column 852, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...he author must address in order to make an cogent case. The unwarranted assumption...
^^
Line 3, column 85, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...itys physical science courses stated by some of the graduates is not quatifiable. There are...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, first, firstly, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, then, thus, whereas
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2962.0 2260.96107784 131% => OK
No of words: 555.0 441.139720559 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33693693694 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85370353223 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0453829974 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.423423423423 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 936.9 705.55239521 133% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 73.7585339445 57.8364921388 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 155.894736842 119.503703932 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.2105263158 23.324526521 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.63157894737 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.296653641674 0.218282227539 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10186274404 0.0743258471296 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0983324203879 0.0701772020484 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.159392533179 0.128457276422 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.112173352635 0.0628817314937 178% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.3 14.3799401198 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.58 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.28 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.83 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 132.0 98.500998004 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.9071856287 151% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.