The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument is based on the interest of the people of Monroe in jazz and some specifics around it for a new jazz club in the city. From the provided statements it can be clearly understood that the people of Monroe are have been very keen towards jazz. But the plausibility of the statements is questionable.
Firstly, stating that jazz is ‘extremely popular’ in the city on the basis of an annual jazz festival. There could be other reasons like it being the only festival to take place in that area. An analysis of different festivals that took place in the course of the year and their attendance might give a better perspective towards the public’s lenience towards jazz.
Secondly, it is mentioned that the number of famous musicians in Monroe could be a factor which shows the people’s liking towards jazz. But ‘several’ could mean any number and is not irrefutable proof that the city has more renowned musicians than any other city. It is probable that almost every bustling city could contain these number of musicians. Hence, a proper estimate and comparison with other cities is crucial to make these judgements.
Thirdly, a nationwide study does not give satisfactory evidence about the actual city of Monroe. It is a flawed argument. The statement also includes the amount of expenditure of a jazz fan on jazz entertainment which neither gives an estimate on how many jazz fans are there in Monroe nor provides and clue on why there should be a jazz club in the city.
On the other hand, there is some deviations towards the likelihood and success of a jazz club in town. If the fact that several musicians of good recognitions have come from this city it true, it might indicate that there are a lot of the residents that want to learn and have an affinity to jazz.
Additionally, the radio show ‘Jazz nightly’ being the highest rated program could show that people are interested in listening to jazz and might enjoy a jazz club in the city.
Considering the details in the argument, a new jazz club should be built only if the evidences are proven to be correct and efficient.
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 221, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'had'.
Suggestion: had
...nderstood that the people of Monroe are have been very keen towards jazz. But the pl...
^^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[4]
Message: Did you mean 'there are some deviations'?
Suggestion: there are some deviations
...club in the city. On the other hand, there is some deviations towards the likelihood and success of a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 188, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'trues'?
Suggestion: trues
...ecognitions have come from this city it true, it might indicate that there are a lot...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1759.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 367.0 441.139720559 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.79291553134 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37689890912 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66260360107 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.479564032698 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 550.8 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.1028699563 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.470588235 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5882352941 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.47058823529 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.279012819479 0.218282227539 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.092723619701 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0736591273514 0.0701772020484 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154349146915 0.128457276422 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0419842371809 0.0628817314937 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.95 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 221, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'had'.
Suggestion: had
...nderstood that the people of Monroe are have been very keen towards jazz. But the pl...
^^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[4]
Message: Did you mean 'there are some deviations'?
Suggestion: there are some deviations
...club in the city. On the other hand, there is some deviations towards the likelihood and success of a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 188, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'trues'?
Suggestion: trues
...ecognitions have come from this city it true, it might indicate that there are a lot...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1759.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 367.0 441.139720559 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.79291553134 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37689890912 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66260360107 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.479564032698 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 550.8 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.1028699563 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.470588235 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5882352941 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.47058823529 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.279012819479 0.218282227539 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.092723619701 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0736591273514 0.0701772020484 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154349146915 0.128457276422 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0419842371809 0.0628817314937 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.95 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.