Humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago, and within 3,000 years most of the large mammal species that had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands had become extinct. Yet humans cannot have been a factor in the species' extinctions, because there is no evidence that the humans had any significant contact with the mammals. Further, archaeologists have discovered numerous sites where the bones of fish had been discarded, but they found no such areas containing the bones of large mammals, so the humans cannot have hunted the mammals. Therefore, some climate change or other environmental factor must have caused the species' extinctions.
The author of this analytical piece has reacher to the optimistic conclusion stating that humans were not responsible for the extinction of the large mammal species and lastly states that some climate change or other environmental factor must have caused the species extinctions.I will be providing necessary argument against this analytical piece regarding bugs present in the concluding the statement of the argument.
On the first statement authors gives us the periodicity when the human arrived in the kaliko islands about 7000 years ago and within 3000 years most of the large mammal species lived on the kaliko islands had become extinct .So regarding this fact author must have cared about taking more number of stats of the humans that lived in the kaliko islands and he/she must have presented a fact that why did it took nearly 3000 years for the large mammal species to get extinct .Was there no role of humans regarding the extinction?As humans are the major elements who use filtered water for the ocean or a lake or a river surrounding the kaliko islands and humans are also responsible for degrading wastes in the river bodies .This fact should also be give by the author which argues that humans may be responsible for the extinction.
Also as surrounded by the river bodies kaliko island humans may be harsh towards the large mammals for their own usage in food also many other elements such as clothes ,shelter,their house in the kaliko islands. And some of the humans may like the adventures in the water such as surfing, scuba diving , and these water activities might be another reason for extinction of the mammals .Humans also use water according to their own necessity and these might have degraded the water level and the oxygen level in the water bodies .And author should should also specify which species of the large mammals is responsible for that cause,which can be easier to find out for the researcher for the extinction.
On the second note author provides a point that there was no evidence regarding human contact with the mammals ,their might be a case that all the evidence might have been vanished off during a long period of time.Also some agencies have tried not to reveal any evidence found during that period,which might cause a altered effect by the animal lovers agencies which might affect the ruling government .AND the 3rd fact provided by the author that archaeologists have discovered numerous sites where the bones of the fish have been discarded but they found no such areas containing the bones of large mammals so the humans cannot have hunted the the mammals .Was the research regarding this topic successful that no evidence was found?Did researchers tried their best to find all the evidences regarding extinction of the large mammals ?At that moment of time humans might have removed all the evidence against the extinction off the mammals .More numbers of facts and stats regarding the extinction should be given to get a ultimate conclusion .
And lastly author states that some climate change or the environmental factors must have caused the species extinction,is only environments criticized for this part , or some other mammals and some other animals be the cause of this process .As their will a diverse population of humans ans as well of the animals present in the kaliko islands ,numerous factors are related to this.
Lastly i would like to conclude that any author should reach to a particular conclusion but without evidence or a strong support he /she should not get to a direct conclusion .
Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/humans-arrived-kal…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 607 350
No. of Characters: 2926 1500
No. of Different Words: 242 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.964 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.82 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.411 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 208 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 60.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 26.253 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.447 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.712 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.191 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 280, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: I
...ust have caused the species extinctions.I will be providing necessary argument ag...
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Line 3, column 224, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...on the kaliko islands had become extinct .So regarding this fact author must have ...
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Suggestion: So
... the kaliko islands had become extinct .So regarding this fact author must have ca...
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Line 3, column 473, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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... the large mammal species to get extinct .Was there no role of humans regarding t...
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Suggestion: Was
...he large mammal species to get extinct .Was there no role of humans regarding the ...
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Line 3, column 484, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...mammal species to get extinct .Was there no role of humans regarding the extincti...
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Suggestion: As
...role of humans regarding the extinction?As humans are the major elements who use f...
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Line 3, column 723, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...for degrading wastes in the river bodies .This fact should also be give by the aut...
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...r degrading wastes in the river bodies .This fact should also be give by the author ...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...y be responsible for the extinction. Also as surrounded by the river bodies kalik...
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Line 5, column 168, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...also many other elements such as clothes ,shelter,their house in the kaliko island...
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Line 5, column 177, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , their
... other elements such as clothes ,shelter,their house in the kaliko islands. And some o...
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Line 5, column 217, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...,their house in the kaliko islands. And some of the humans may like the adventures in the w...
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Line 5, column 302, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... the water such as surfing, scuba diving , and these water activities might be ano...
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Line 5, column 385, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...her reason for extinction of the mammals .Humans also use water according to their...
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Line 5, column 387, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Humans
...r reason for extinction of the mammals .Humans also use water according to their own n...
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Line 5, column 528, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...and the oxygen level in the water bodies .And author should should also specify wh...
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Line 5, column 530, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: And
...d the oxygen level in the water bodies .And author should should also specify which...
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Line 5, column 541, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: should
...n level in the water bodies .And author should should also specify which species of the large...
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Line 5, column 632, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , which
...ge mammals is responsible for that cause,which can be easier to find out for the resea...
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Line 8, column 111, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...regarding human contact with the mammals ,their might be a case that all the evide...
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Line 8, column 200, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...ht have been vanished off during a long period of time.Also some agencies have tried not to re...
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Line 8, column 215, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Also
...nished off during a long period of time.Also some agencies have tried not to reveal ...
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Line 8, column 215, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...nished off during a long period of time.Also some agencies have tried not to reveal ...
^^^^
Line 8, column 296, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , which
...al any evidence found during that period,which might cause a altered effect by the ani...
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Line 8, column 315, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...nd during that period,which might cause a altered effect by the animal lovers age...
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Line 8, column 402, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...which might affect the ruling government .AND the 3rd fact provided by the author ...
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Line 8, column 643, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ammals so the humans cannot have hunted the the mammals .Was the research regarding thi...
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Line 8, column 643, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ammals so the humans cannot have hunted the the mammals .Was the research regarding thi...
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 658, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...umans cannot have hunted the the mammals .Was the research regarding this topic su...
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Line 8, column 660, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Was
...ans cannot have hunted the the mammals .Was the research regarding this topic succe...
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Line 8, column 736, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Did
...c successful that no evidence was found?Did researchers tried their best to find al...
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Suggestion: At
...arding extinction of the large mammals ?At that moment of time humans might have r...
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Line 8, column 942, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...e against the extinction off the mammals .More numbers of facts and stats regardin...
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Line 8, column 944, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: More
...against the extinction off the mammals .More numbers of facts and stats regarding th...
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Line 8, column 1024, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...g the extinction should be given to get a ultimate conclusion . And lastly autho...
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Line 8, column 1045, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...ld be given to get a ultimate conclusion . And lastly author states that some cli...
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Line 9, column 119, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , is
... must have caused the species extinction,is only environments criticized for this ...
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Line 9, column 140, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... species extinction,is only environments criticized for this part , or some other...
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Line 9, column 166, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...y environments criticized for this part , or some other mammals and some other an...
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Line 9, column 242, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...her animals be the cause of this process .As their will a diverse population of hu...
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Line 9, column 243, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: As
...r animals be the cause of this process .As their will a diverse population of huma...
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Line 9, column 344, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...he animals present in the kaliko islands ,numerous factors are related to this. ...
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Line 11, column 8, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... factors are related to this. Lastly i would like to conclude that any author ...
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Line 11, column 175, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...he should not get to a direct conclusion .
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, lastly, may, regarding, second, so, well, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 12.9520958084 193% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 11.1786427146 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2979.0 2260.96107784 132% => OK
No of words: 598.0 441.139720559 136% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98160535117 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.94510247834 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53634032859 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 250.0 204.123752495 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.418060200669 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 929.7 705.55239521 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 19.7664670659 35% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 85.0 22.8473053892 372% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 296.66623863 57.8364921388 513% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 425.571428571 119.503703932 356% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 85.4285714286 23.324526521 366% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 10.1428571429 5.70786347227 178% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 45.0 5.25449101796 856% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.307828444208 0.218282227539 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.146759683299 0.0743258471296 197% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.120944822029 0.0701772020484 172% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155098786352 0.128457276422 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.128070726844 0.0628817314937 204% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 44.7 14.3799401198 311% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -14.8 48.3550499002 -31% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 36.4 12.197005988 298% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 12.79 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.78 8.32208582834 130% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 98.500998004 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 29.5 12.3882235529 238% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 36.0 11.1389221557 323% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.