An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The author of this argument is trying to promote a new variety of millet which is high in vitamin A.To support his argument he states that the international development organization has come up with a new breed of millet which is high in vitamin A.To further support it he states that the farmers will be paid subsidies for growing the new variety of millets due to its high cost.He further points out that millet being a staple food in Tagus will inherently help in adopting the new kind of millet.To sum it up the author states that the government of Tagus should do everything to promote this new breed of millet. Nevertheless, on closer scrutiny, it is seen that the argument provides scant evidence that can prove the validity of the recommendation made.
Firstly,the author states that the new millet is high in vitamin A. The author provides us with no evidence which states the percentage of vitamin A in that millet.The term used by the author as “high” is subjective, to further support it the author should have provided us a comparison with the earlier type of millet which would have proven that the new breed was high in vitamin A.The failure of the author to provide us with some substantiated evidence weakens the argument.
Secondly,the fact that the millet costs more dampens the argument.Having said that the government will provide subsidies to the farmers for the growth of the new breed , the author does not state that how much will the government subsidize the farmer.The amount of subsidy provided by the government is not clearly stated since it is quite possible that the government will provide a certain percentage of subsidy for the growth of the new millet.The fact that the millet is costly could also mean that its market price will be higher than the existing ones.The author fails to provide us with cogent instructions regarding the subsidization of the farmer and further market comparison of the new breed of millet.
Finally, the assumption that the author is making that since millet is already a staple food of Tagus, people will readily adopt it is specious at best.Since the new breed of millet might differ in taste and as suggested above their might be a significant price difference between the new and the existing breed of millets , the people might not readily shift to this new breed of millet.Hence the dubious assumption of the author about the adoption of new breed of millet without considering all factors makes the argument weaker.
In conclusion, the author's argument is filled with flaws and incomplete and incogent reasons. To make his argument more persuasive the author should have provided us with some evidence stating the proportion of vitamin A in the new breed.The author should also clearly state the amount of subsidy that the government will provide to the farmers .He should also provide us with detailed information about the various factors of the new millet concerning its taste and price. The argument would be more convincing and well-reasoned if the author had provided us with the above stated suggestions.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 00 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 535 350
No. of Characters: 2525 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.809 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.72 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.516 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 190 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 48.636 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 33.172 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.461 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.666 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.234 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 101, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...ty of millet which is high in vitamin A.To support his argument he states that the...
^^
Line 1, column 249, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...ed of millet which is high in vitamin A.To further support it he states that the f...
^^
Line 1, column 381, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: He
...variety of millets due to its high cost.He further points out that millet being a ...
^^
Line 1, column 500, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...help in adopting the new kind of millet.To sum it up the author states that the go...
^^
Line 4, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...of the recommendation made. Firstly,the author states that the new millet is hi...
^^^^
Line 4, column 165, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
... percentage of vitamin A in that millet.The term used by the author as “high” is su...
^^^
Line 4, column 385, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...hat the new breed was high in vitamin A.The failure of the author to provide us wit...
^^^
Line 7, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ence weakens the argument. Secondly,the fact that the millet costs more dampens...
^^^^
Line 7, column 67, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Having
... millet costs more dampens the argument.Having said that the government will provide s...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 168, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... farmers for the growth of the new breed , the author does not state that how much...
^^
Line 7, column 252, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...ill the government subsidize the farmer.The amount of subsidy provided by the gover...
^^^
Line 7, column 448, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...ubsidy for the growth of the new millet.The fact that the millet is costly could al...
^^^
Line 7, column 559, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...e will be higher than the existing ones.The author fails to provide us with cogent ...
^^^
Line 7, column 559, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e will be higher than the existing ones.The author fails to provide us with cogent ...
^^^
Line 11, column 153, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Since
...ll readily adopt it is specious at best.Since the new breed of millet might differ in...
^^^^^
Line 11, column 323, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...he new and the existing breed of millets , the people might not readily shift to t...
^^
Line 11, column 389, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
...adily shift to this new breed of millet.Hence the dubious assumption of the author ab...
^^^^^
Line 11, column 389, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...adily shift to this new breed of millet.Hence the dubious assumption of the author ab...
^^^^^
Line 14, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...rgument weaker. In conclusion, the authors argument is filled with flaws and incom...
^^^^^^^
Line 14, column 239, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...roportion of vitamin A in the new breed.The author should also clearly state the am...
^^^
Line 14, column 345, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...e government will provide to the farmers .He should also provide us with detailed ...
^^
Line 14, column 347, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: He
...government will provide to the farmers .He should also provide us with detailed in...
^^
Line 14, column 493, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... its taste and price. The argument would be more convincing and well-reasoned if ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, nevertheless, regarding, second, secondly, so, well, in conclusion, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 79.0 55.5748502994 142% => OK
Nominalization: 29.0 16.3942115768 177% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2590.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 520.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98076923077 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77530192783 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69439115411 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.376923076923 0.468620217663 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 792.9 705.55239521 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 19.7664670659 46% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 57.0 22.8473053892 249% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 231.29047527 57.8364921388 400% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 287.777777778 119.503703932 241% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 57.7777777778 23.324526521 248% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 13.0 5.70786347227 228% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 23.0 5.25449101796 438% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.358190002931 0.218282227539 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.165953488476 0.0743258471296 223% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.132049153289 0.0701772020484 188% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.236549364886 0.128457276422 184% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.09217026057 0.0628817314937 147% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 30.9 14.3799401198 215% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 22.08 48.3550499002 46% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 24.3 12.197005988 199% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.49 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.2 8.32208582834 111% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 98.500998004 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 55.0 12.3882235529 444% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 24.8 11.1389221557 223% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 25.0 11.9071856287 210% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.