The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors: "Techcorporation is our top pick for investment this term. We urge all of our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed satellite technology has been approved by the FTA to compete with the current satellite provider. That company is Techcorporation. A consumer survey last year indicated that over 80 percent of respondents were dissatisfied with the current satellite provider & would want to switch to another provider if the industry were not a monopoly. Thus, the new venture of Techcorporation into satellite television will prove to be highly profitable for those who invest now."" -
The newsletter offers advice to investors to invest to Techcorporation that has been approved to start its journey and compete with other similar companies. It is advising the investors so because it is assumed that the new venture will be highly profitable. The assumption was backed up by a survey result. However, though the offer seems tempting, it is based on some implied assumptions and lack of proper data.
The survey yields that eighty percent of respondents are dissatisfied with the current satellite television provider, and they intend to switch to another provider if any. From this single piece of information, it is hard to understand why those respondents were dissatisfied. Was it because the monotony of television programmes, or was it the quality of broadcasting that they were dissatisfied? Techcorporation should have appropriate plan to overcome those causes of dissatisfaction. Without a proper action strategy, the new venture would not do any good to satisfy the dissatisfied respondents, and attract them to their service. The lack of information on this perspective makes the claim weaker that the new venture will prove highly profitable.
Their is another consideration to take care of - the company is going to start satellite television service for the first time, or at least after ten years. They are going to compete with the companies which are experienced in dealing with television viewers for ten years. It is evident that a lot of preparations from many perspectives such as type of programs, timing of programs, advertisement policy, news broadcasting session, broadcasting quality and so on are neede when a new venture is going to fight other experienced similar companies. There is no answer regarding this preparation in the claim of the newsletter. Without this information, it cannot be believed by the investors that the new company would be profitable.
The quality of the survey could be questioned too. Did the survey ask questions to all kinds of viewers - kids, teenagers, middle-aged people, working people, homemakers, old people and to some other kinds? Different types of people have different types of tastes of watching television programs. If it can be proved that the survey did not consider one or two particular kinds of people - it can be the kids or the old people - the claim that eighty percent of the respondents are not satisfied with the current satellite television providers is weakened, and therefore weakens the claim that the new venture will be highly profitable.
The offer advised by the newsletter seems lucrative but the investors need to know a certain things before they can be convinced that the new venture will be highly profitable. The concerns are discussed in this essay - the implied assumptions and lack of enough information are mentioned. These implied assumptions and lack of information must be taken care of before the investors can believe that the new venture will be highly profitable to invest.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 482 350
No. of Characters: 2459 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.686 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.102 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.929 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 183 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 138 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 76 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.115 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.364 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.074 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 115, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...ing them to invest in technocorporation.The author of this argument is trying to su...
^^^
Line 1, column 320, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...company to compete with other providers.To support the argument the author present...
^^
Line 1, column 404, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...a consumer survey conducted last year in which he concludes that 80 percent of th...
^^
Line 1, column 532, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... satellite provider and choose a new one .This argument rests on a series of unsub...
^^
Line 1, column 534, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...atellite provider and choose a new one .This argument rests on a series of unsubstan...
^^^^
Line 4, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...unpersuasive as it stands. Firstly,the point that the author is trying to make...
^^^^
Line 4, column 100, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ing that for the first time in ten years , technocorporation is the only one with ...
^^
Line 4, column 186, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Since
...TA approved satellite is quite specious.Since the company has now got the approval of...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 235, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... company has now got the approval of FTA , it is quite likely that it still has so...
^^
Line 4, column 300, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...t it still has some room for improvement . On the other hand looking at all their ...
^^
Line 4, column 478, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
... satellite to augment its functionality.The fact that the author does not provide a...
^^^
Line 6, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
... makes the argument dubious. Secondly,the consumer survey that the author states ...
^^^^
Line 6, column 147, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...satellite providers is spurious at best.The author bluntly states that eighty perce...
^^^
Line 6, column 302, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...of people who participated in the survey .Also the author does not provide us with...
^^
Line 6, column 304, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
... people who participated in the survey .Also the author does not provide us with the...
^^^^
Line 6, column 304, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... people who participated in the survey .Also the author does not provide us with the...
^^^^
Line 6, column 348, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the author does not provide us with the age group in case of the survey , the su...
^^
Line 6, column 381, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ith the age group in case of the survey , the survey should contain the point of ...
^^
Line 6, column 495, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ults in order to make it more coherent. Hence the authors reliance on the survey with...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 505, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...der to make it more coherent. Hence the authors reliance on the survey without providin...
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 89, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...are dissatisfied by the current provider ,then they could change their satellite p...
^^
Line 8, column 275, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Since
...technocorporation which is preposterous.Since we live in a competitive world , lookin...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 311, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ous.Since we live in a competitive world , looking at the progress of technocorpor...
^^
Line 8, column 508, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... customers like addition of new channels , decreasing costs etc. The author overlo...
^^
Line 11, column 82, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...and therefore unconvincing as it stands.In order to make his argument more persuas...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, look, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, well, as well as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2622.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 500.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.244 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72870804502 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10434993976 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.446 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 816.3 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 45.0 22.8473053892 197% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 174.070708536 57.8364921388 301% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 238.363636364 119.503703932 199% => OK
Words per sentence: 45.4545454545 23.324526521 195% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.1818181818 5.70786347227 213% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 25.0 5.25449101796 476% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.122312047973 0.218282227539 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0489936571023 0.0743258471296 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0717630738494 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0836637681376 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0841397376715 0.0628817314937 134% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 26.0 14.3799401198 181% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 25.8 48.3550499002 53% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 20.8 12.197005988 171% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.0 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.77 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 55.0 12.3882235529 444% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 20.0 11.1389221557 180% => OK
text_standard: 26.0 11.9071856287 218% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.