From Managing director of buckingham college.
To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
The Managing director of Buckingham college presents optimistic idea to build number of new dormitories in the given statements. the director concludes that by building new dormitories more and more prospective students will enroll in Buckingham college. There are certain observations and assumptions are made by managing director of Buckingham college: the enrollment of college is increasing and the rate of houses are also increasing which are not affordable. By these observations the managing director has drawn this optimistic conclusion. But these given statements are not enough to satisfy the conclusion.
First of all, The managing director says that the enrollments of Buckingham college will become twice in next 50 years based on current growing enrollments. How can anyone make assumption of number of students after 50 years based on current statistics? If the assumption is made for next 2 or 3 years then it can be considerable. It may be possible that in next 50 years various new colleges can be opened in the town, so the enrollments of Buckingham colleges may not be high. The demand of foreign study is also increasing now days. It may be possible that the students of town may be go to the other towns or countries for higher education. So, we can not predict the enrollments of next 50 years due to given possibilities.
The other thing the managing director mentioned about the increasing rent of the houses in town and which can be not affordable by students. But there are several possibilities of increasing rent. It may be possible that the people of town who rent apartments may give more facilities for high rent or the rent of the apartment may be affordable to students. The managing director assumes that the students will find difficult to afford off-campus housing. But it may be possible that the students which are enrolled in Buckingham college are from affluent backgrounds and can easily afford the houses of higher rent for luxurious facilities. It may be possible that the majority of students who study in Buckingham college are from local area and they have no need to stay in campus buildings. It is also possible that the affluent students do not like to stay in college hostel with lack of facilities. There is no mention of facilities which the new campus buildings will provide in future.
The last assumption director has made about the future enrollments of prospective talented students in college. But there is no mention about academic measure of Buckingham college. There is no evidence about the statistical performance of Buckingham college. It can be a local college and there may be various high standard colleges in the town. Then why prospective students will join Buckingham college. They may go in other colleges. Even if we assume that Buckingham is standard college for prospective students, the students will come for education not for dormitories. If he/she want to increase the enrollments then he/she should increase the standard of education.
Therefore, In give statements the conclusion is optimistic but there are dearth of evidences to satisfy conclusion. If there are more evidences present to bolster the idea of campus buildings then we can think about it, but the given assumptions and observations attenuate the conclusion.en or strengthen the argument.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 547 350
No. of Characters: 2747 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.836 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.022 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.89 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 193 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 167 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 134 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 82 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.862 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.262 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.724 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 130, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...ew dormitories in the given statements. the director concludes that by building new...
^^^
Line 6, column 702, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... that the majority of students who study in Buckingham college are from local are...
^^
Line 6, column 985, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...h the new campus buildings will provide in future. The last assumption director has ma...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 577, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...come for education not for dormitories. If he/she want to increase the enrollments...
^^
Line 8, column 587, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'wants'.
Suggestion: wants
...ducation not for dormitories. If he/she want to increase the enrollments then he/she...
^^^^
Line 10, column 74, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'dearths'?
Suggestion: dearths
... conclusion is optimistic but there are dearth of evidences to satisfy conclusion. If ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, then, therefore, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 27.0 12.9520958084 208% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2808.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 545.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15229357798 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83169070408 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96034106548 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.352293577982 0.468620217663 75% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 871.2 705.55239521 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.7979705263 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.6 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1666666667 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.0 5.70786347227 35% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.299963447449 0.218282227539 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0942233246087 0.0743258471296 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0866543996184 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177236589759 0.128457276422 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0960370158626 0.0628817314937 153% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.29 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.14 8.32208582834 86% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 98.500998004 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.