In this statement the researchers showed us a result contradicts to the previous common sense that milk and diary which rich in V-D and calcium will help people form suffering osteoporosis. So let's reexamine the study carefully because there are some evidences insufficient to support this result.
To begin with, given a medical research ,there is no study of the people of equal population who do not consume the diary. Without this contrast reference, we can not conclude the it is the consumption of diary to make some of the people suffer osteoporosis. So this concusion is insufficient with this comparison. The researchers should take another group of people into study to support their research to prove thether it is because the consumption of diary to make the disease.
In addition, there are some key information the author does show tell us which can obsecure the result. As for the people in the study, the information of sex, age, weight does not show up. It would weaken this evidence to support this conclusion which contradicts the previous statement. So I suggest the researcher need to separate the people into different group study. For example, the author mentions that this disease will cause the bones to broken to weaken significantly with age, it will be a good start with the age of the people in the study. Thus we can predict the relationship between the disease and age. Because the consumption of diary and milk also require the ability to ingest and assimilate, which vary in different age.
What's more, given the author has already told us that the osteroprosis is relative to the enviromental and genetic factors, which the study does not represent them at all. The evidence for supporting this conclusion is weakend by these two significant factors' absence. Because they are so important, there are high possiblity that the risk of sufferring osteoprosis are highly relevant with these two factors. I suggest the researcher to find out the living conditions and families' disease history of these people, so they wil get more discovery about this disease.
Finally, when we are discussing the consumption, we shoule make clear all the diet of the people take. Because it is essential for the researcher to find out whether it is the diary to cause the disease or somethingelse taken by the people in the study. The author does not tell us this point, so it would be arbitrary to conclud the diary is the reason of increasing the possiblity of suffering the osteoprosis.
In conclusion, the evidences shows by the author do not support the conclusion that the consumption of diary would increase the risk of sufferring osteoprosis, giventhere are some flaws in the design of study, the researchers should make a contrast group and separate the people more clearly.
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: So this concusion is insufficient with this comparison.
Error: concusion Suggestion: confusion
Sentence: The researchers should take another group of people into study to support their research to prove thether it is because the consumption of diary to make the disease.
Error: thether Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In addition, there are some key information the author does show tell us which can obsecure the result.
Error: obsecure Suggestion: obscure
Sentence: What's more, given the author has already told us that the osteroprosis is relative to the enviromental and genetic factors, which the study does not represent them at all.
Error: osteroprosis Suggestion: osteoporosis
Error: enviromental Suggestion: environmental
Sentence: The evidence for supporting this conclusion is weakend by these two significant factors' absence.
Error: weakend Suggestion: weaken
Sentence: Because they are so important, there are high possiblity that the risk of sufferring osteoprosis are highly relevant with these two factors.
Error: osteoprosis Suggestion: osteoporosis
Error: sufferring Suggestion: suffering
Error: possiblity Suggestion: possibility
Sentence: I suggest the researcher to find out the living conditions and families' disease history of these people, so they wil get more discovery about this disease.
Error: wil Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Finally, when we are discussing the consumption, we shoule make clear all the diet of the people take.
Error: shoule Suggestion: should
Sentence: Because it is essential for the researcher to find out whether it is the diary to cause the disease or somethingelse taken by the people in the study.
Error: somethingelse Suggestion: something else
Sentence: The author does not tell us this point, so it would be arbitrary to conclud the diary is the reason of increasing the possiblity of suffering the osteoprosis.
Error: osteoprosis Suggestion: osteoporosis
Error: conclud Suggestion: conclude
Error: possiblity Suggestion: possibility
Sentence: In conclusion, the evidences shows by the author do not support the conclusion that the consumption of diary would increase the risk of sufferring osteoprosis, giventhere are some flaws in the design of study, the researchers should make a contrast group and separate the people more clearly.
Error: osteoprosis Suggestion: osteoporosis
Error: giventhere Suggestion: given here
Error: sufferring Suggestion: suffering
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 469 350
No. of Characters: 2285 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.654 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.872 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.726 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.807 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 194, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
... people form suffering osteoporosis. So lets reexamine the study carefully because t...
^^^^
Line 3, column 15, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o support this result. To begin with, given a medical research ,there is no st...
^^
Line 3, column 41, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...To begin with, given a medical research ,there is no study of the people of equal...
^^
Line 3, column 83, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...there is no study of the people of equal population who do not consume the diary....
^^
Line 3, column 179, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'it'?
Suggestion: the; it
...contrast reference, we can not conclude the it is the consumption of diary to make som...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 222, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... it is the consumption of diary to make some of the people suffer osteoporosis. So this con...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 555, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ith the age of the people in the study. Thus we can predict the relationship between...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...ilate, which vary in different age. Whats more, given the author has already told...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 130, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... enviromental and genetic factors, which the study does not represent them at all...
^^
Line 9, column 300, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uthor does not tell us this point, so it would be arbitrary to conclud the diary ...
^^
Line 11, column 203, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...venthere are some flaws in the design of study, the researchers should make a con...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, if, so, thus, as for, for example, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2346.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 469.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00213219616 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65364457471 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79279445288 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.426439232409 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 736.2 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.5695598307 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.714285714 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3333333333 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.33333333333 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0967691109017 0.218282227539 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0352393481512 0.0743258471296 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0383599866517 0.0701772020484 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0589477276421 0.128457276422 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.033978095995 0.0628817314937 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.