In this article the author shows us the survey with 300 male and femal Mentian advertising executives's average slumber hours. In this survey, it signals that if the executives had slept for less than 6 hours per night, their companies had higher profit and faster growth. Thus the author suggests that if the business wants to thrive, it shoul hire the people who sleep less than 6 hours per night. There are some problems that I want to call into questions.
First of all, let's look at the conclusion, the company should hire the people who have less than 6 hours slumber, then they will make achievements for the company. As my concern, if I am a HR, how can I judge a candidate who wants to join my company how long does he usually sleep usually from his resume and interview? I believe it is a big problem in front of any boss or HR if they want to look for new workmates in this way.
Even he who wants to join the dream company , while which need the people have less than 6 hours sleep, may lie to the HR of boss. I believe this method is not realistic at all.
Here we look at the survey. I doubt the 300 people for this survey is not enough as the author did not make sufficient evidence to the survey conclusion. what's more there are differences with different ages at slumber. The young usually sleep longer than the old ,according to the scientific research as the old is lack of melatonin in the brain. There are also difference between sex, which may also deviate the conclusion.So this kind of survey need to be completed with scales, ages and sex.
The main purpose of the author is to suggest a kind of method in order to enhance the business. There are various of reasons to make a business thrive, however. In this article ,there is no obvious evidence between the staffs' less slumber and ths business prosper. The author did not prove the less slumber will make the staff work more efficiently in order to get high profit margins. A company may control the cost to make more profit margins, likewise, the faster growth may comes from the goodleadership and lucrative business.
In conclusion, the author did not mention the relevance between the business prosper and the less sleep hours of the staff, and there is an insufficient suvery the author shows us. In my opinion the author should make the survey more compelling and relative to the business thriving which is all the readers who could be bosses want.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 441 350
No. of Characters: 1948 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.583 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.417 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.307 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.05 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.593 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 273, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...es had higher profit and faster growth. Thus the author suggests that if the busines...
^^^^
Line 3, column 276, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[9]
Message: The adverb 'usually' is usually put before the verb 'sleep'.
Suggestion: usually sleep
...oin my company how long does he usually sleep usually from his resume and interview? I believ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 44, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...n he who wants to join the dream company , while which need the people have less t...
^^
Line 6, column 155, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Whats
...ient evidence to the survey conclusion. whats more there are differences with differe...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 155, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: what's
...ient evidence to the survey conclusion. whats more there are differences with differe...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 263, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... young usually sleep longer than the old ,according to the scientific research as ...
^^
Line 6, column 425, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
..., which may also deviate the conclusion.So this kind of survey need to be complete...
^^
Line 8, column 177, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...usiness thrive, however. In this article ,there is no obvious evidence between the...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, likewise, look, may, so, then, thus, while, in conclusion, kind of, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2006.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 440.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.55909090909 5.12650576532 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57997565096 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40004010641 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.465909090909 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 602.1 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.5140439243 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.5238095238 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9523809524 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.7619047619 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.15863129895 0.218282227539 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0484901935925 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0602771081321 0.0701772020484 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.089826604261 0.128457276422 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0654844150602 0.0628817314937 104% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 14.3799401198 73% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 48.3550499002 141% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.17 12.5979740519 73% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.36 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.