"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
A prompt appeared on the Mozart School of Music website which presented a few evidence in order to justify that Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. The arguer has provided evidence to bolster his claim, which has been made in the prompt. The evidence provided seem convincing on the first glance, although a proper examination might unearth a few alternate possibilities, that can undermine the arguer's position.
Firstly, the arguer has stated that Mozart School of Music offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well as a wide range of genres. It is important to notice the word "nearly" in the assertion made by the arguer. Nearly all means that Mozart School of Music does not provide instruction in all the musical instruments that are present in the world right now. What if a prospective student wants to learn an instrument, but there is no one to teach that in Mozart School of Music? Such a situation would not be ideal for the student's music career. This would also undermine that arguer's assertion since, if a student does not find his preferred instrument being taught in Mozart School of Music, he would likely not consider it as his first choice.
Secondly, the arguer has mentioned that the faculty members at Mozart School of Music consist of some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. It might be true that there are notable names in the list of faculties present in Mozart School of Music, although the arguer fails to mention the names of these musical elite. What if these distinguished faculties are only popular regionally? This would mean that the kids will be acquiring knowledge from regional experts, rather than global experts. If such a case exists, it would not be certain if the parents of prospective kids would be inclined towards considering Mozart School of Music as the first choice for thier kids.
Lastly, the arguer has included details about the life of Mozart School of Music alumni. According to the arguer, graduates of Mozart School of Music have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians. The arguer fails to specify the range of salaries that is earned by these graduates. It might be the case that the salaries are high in the area where Mozart School of Music is present, but a wider analysis might reveal that the money being earned by graduates of Mozart School of Music is average or even below average. Unless the arguer specifies the range of salaries being earned by graduates of Mozart School of Music, it might not adequately convince the parents of prospective students to consider Mozart School of Music as their first choice.
In sum, the evidence provided by the arguer are incomplete and erroneous. They hint at various alternate possibilities which fails to convince the reader. Unless, the arguer provides more compelling evidence, it cannot be categorically stated if the parents, of prospective students, will consider Mozart School of Music as their first choice.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 512 350
No. of Characters: 2503 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.757 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.889 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.534 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.593 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.393 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.564 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 75, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[6]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun evidence seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'little evidence'.
Suggestion: little evidence
...hool of Music website which presented a few evidence in order to justify that Mozart School ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 355, Rule ID: ON_FIRST_GLANCE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'at'?
Suggestion: at
.... The evidence provided seem convincing on the first glance, although a proper exa...
^^
Line 3, column 550, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
... a situation would not be ideal for the students music career. This would also undermine...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 604, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'arguers'' or 'arguer's'?
Suggestion: arguers'; arguer's
... career. This would also undermine that arguers assertion since, if a student does not ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 98, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...rs at Mozart School of Music consist of some of the most distinguished musicians in the are...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, well, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2572.0 2260.96107784 114% => OK
No of words: 512.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0234375 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75682846001 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65751061539 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.419921875 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 783.9 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.5706759871 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.909090909 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2727272727 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.5 5.70786347227 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 17.0 6.88822355289 247% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.464619414262 0.218282227539 213% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.159336481963 0.0743258471296 214% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.136477863752 0.0701772020484 194% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.292906863156 0.128457276422 228% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0573277130061 0.0628817314937 91% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.08 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.