Though it would appear that the decrease/decline in profits of Movies Galore can be mitigated by the cutoff of all movies released more than five years ago, the author does not make a logical case for reducing operation time of the store. On its face, it might appear that the provided evidences lead to the author’s conclusion, but there are several unwarranted assumptions that must be addressed to establish the soundness of the author’s case.
First, the writer assumes that reducing opening time for other nine stores will increase profits. In fact, the approach might be entirely ineffective to those stores. Suppose, for example, that the main problem lies in geographical area or target audience; closing the store sooner that do not address the issue would be of little use in decline their operating costs. The argument could have much clearer if it explicitly stated that from 6:00 pm to 9:00 pm, there are very few patrons visit the store.
Second, the writer provides no statistical evidence indicating peak time of all stores whether it is during the day time or after work hours. To illustrate, the peak time of the store in downtown Marston could be different from that of the stores in suburban areas. Therefore, applying a similar policy to other nine stores could be a huge mistake since it damages the revenue of Movie Galore.
Finally, the argument claims that the deduction of operating expenses would increase profits of chain store. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between operating expenses and profits. For instance, marketing fee or promotion campaigns might be the issue. The argument would be strengthened considerably if the author could provide evidence proving operating cost is the only cause that negatively affects their profits.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts to support the current conclusion that implementing those changes will effectively solve the problem.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 346 350
No. of Characters: 1751 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.313 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.061 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.701 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.067 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.752 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.604 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, second, so, then, therefore, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 55.5748502994 61% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1810.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 343.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27696793003 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30351707066 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85142523042 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.556851311953 0.468620217663 119% => OK
syllable_count: 567.9 705.55239521 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.1768428217 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.666666667 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8666666667 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.86666666667 5.70786347227 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.108155829458 0.218282227539 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0396583094361 0.0743258471296 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0322728844484 0.0701772020484 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0613135541178 0.128457276422 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0405402569772 0.0628817314937 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.05 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 98.500998004 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.