Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how th
Because Pirouettes Ballet School has the most intensive program of dance compare to other dance schools in Elmtown, and their teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world, the author has recommended Pirouettes Ballet School to children to choose as their dance school. Here, the author has given several premises to strengthen his or her recommendation. However, there are several questions if unanswered, would make the logic of the argument weak.
Firstly, the author cites that Pirouettes Ballet School has the most intensive program compare to the other dance schools in Elmtown. Here the author has given the example of only one program and that is most intensive. So it is possible that there may be other programs that aren't much intensive or effective compare to other schools' programs in the town. Therefore, overall effect of dance programs would be not above the par compare to other schools' programs. The question is, what is the effectiveness of other programs of the Pirouettes Ballet School compare to other schools' dance program? If the average effect of all the dance program of this school is lesser than other schools' program, it would weaken the recommendation of the author.
Secondly, the author hasn't given measurement standard to measure to the intensiveness of the dance program. So how does the author evaluate that Pirouettes Ballet School's program as the most intensive program? Whether the reputed survey analysis company has cited that Pirouettes Ballet School has the most intensive program or the author, himself, comes up with this notion? If the author has concluded this, he or she could be have bias Pirouettes Ballet School and doesn't provide proper recommendation.
Lastly, the author stats that Pirouettes Ballet School's teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Indeed, the teachers are good, but here the author has given efficacy of only one dance form, that is ballet. What about the effectiveness of teachers in other form of dance styles i.e. contemporary, salsa, solo etc.? If the teachers are only good in ballet dance, this school would be ideal for children who only want to learn a ballet dance form. But the author has generalized this idea and recommended children to choose this school for any form of the dance. Therefore, this recommendation is not correct.
In general, it may be said that the author has failed to make a convincing recommendation because of lack of statistical data and proper reasoning. The argument ends with an unrealistic optimistic conclusion based on wishy-washy observations that is likely to be incorrect. However, if the author has answered the above questions clearly, his or her recommendation would have been more convincing.
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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flaws:
You are on the wrong track for arguments essays. You need to accept those data or evidence are true, and then try to find out loopholes.
And need to analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program,
suggested:
the most intensive program may on the contrary increase the stress on the child and could have potentially deleterious effects on a child's physical and mental well-being.
condition 2:
and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world.
suggested:
It is highly possible that teachers in other schools may have also danced in prestigious companies.
condition 3:
Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
suggested:
A few students from the school could never represent the whole group of students studying in the school. Most of the schools have average students studying along with a few outliers. The author should provide statistics indicating the median performance of students in the school to substantiate the argument and make it convincing. Otherwise, there is no way to compare with other schools, since every school would have some of their students dancing for top dance companies.
conclusion:
Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child.
suggested:
In case a child is interested in learning some other form of dance, rather than ballet, the argument convincing claiming that the ballet school is the best in town would amount to poor advice.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 454 350
No. of Characters: 2288 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.616 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.04 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.7 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.636 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.577 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.397 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.197 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5