A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys

Submitted by atiras on Wed, 02/13/2019 - 04:31

In the letter,author concludes about the effect of birth order and level of stimulation of cortisol based on the study done on eighteen monkeys. The evidence provided doesn`t sufficiate to reach such conclusion. And the author mentions about the same case is with the humans too. The author must justify his conclusion with strong evidence to undergrid his conclusion.

Firstly, he mentions about the study he had done on eighteen monkeys.Can such study on insignificant number of monkeys help to reach such conclusion?? There are significant numbers of monkeys of different origin and species. He shlould have atleast studied differently on different species and if the findings were the same then, the above conclusion could be appropriate. It would bolster the argument.
Secondly, about the stimulation of the cortisol hormone,in the first born human child, the author provides no such evidence on how the conclusion was made. He should have provided with the study he had done with the infants and the results from the study. Then it would be easier for us to apprehend the conclusion. The author can`t just conclude just reaching out the study in the monkeys.
Last but not the least, the study done on the pregnant monkeys and the level of stimulation of Cortisol in their bodies is found to be more during first time than other period. The author don`t have the specific statistical data to undergrid his statement. Just by finding the similarities on these insignificant number of monkeys,the conclusion cant be made. There might have been less level of stimulation of the hormone in other first time pregnant monkeys. The author might not have reached in that area for the study. He/she should have included that part too.
In sum , we can say that the evidence provided above isn't sufficient to bolster the conclusion. The author must come with same relevant research and findings to undergrid his findings otherwise the conclusion get be undermined.

Votes
Average: 2.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories
GMAT/GRE Argument Task

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , author
In the letter,author concludes about the effect of birth ord...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 251, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...usion. And the author mentions about the same case is with the humans too. The au...
^^
Line 3, column 70, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Can
...e study he had done on eighteen monkeys.Can such study on insignificant number of m...
^^^
Line 4, column 56, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , in
... the stimulation of the cortisol hormone,in the first born human child, the author ...
^^^
Line 5, column 269, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...data to undergrid his statement. Just by finding the similarities on these insign...
^^
Line 5, column 336, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...on these insignificant number of monkeys,the conclusion cant be made. There might ha...
^^^^
Line 5, column 352, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ficant number of monkeys,the conclusion cant be made. There might have been less le...
^^^^
Line 5, column 392, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...cant be made. There might have been less level of stimulation of the hormone in o...
^^
Line 6, column 7, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...uld have included that part too. In sum , we can say that the evidence provided a...
^^
Line 6, column 54, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...an say that the evidence provided above isnt sufficient to bolster the conclusion. T...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, then

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1660.0 2260.96107784 73% => OK
No of words: 322.0 441.139720559 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15527950311 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23607819155 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78274617149 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 149.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.462732919255 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 504.0 705.55239521 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.5266998369 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.0 119.503703932 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.1 23.324526521 69% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.55 5.70786347227 45% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.187547676307 0.218282227539 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0585613991265 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0602792532323 0.0701772020484 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112705183502 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0486595280472 0.0628817314937 77% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.35 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.62 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 98.500998004 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.