This memo concludes that discontinuing the use of the current manufacturing process will help to increase profits of Dura-Sock, Inc. To justify the conclusion, the vice president of marketing mentions the results of the survey which proved to be in favor of the change. Moreover, he also notes that despite the advertised durability of two years, the customers use their socks solely for 3 months, so the use of the Endure manufacturing process turns out to be ineffective. I find this argument unconvincing in several respects.
Firstly, this conclusion is based on the specious assumption that all customers of Dura-Sock have analogous preferences to the buyers from northeastern United States cities. However, it can be the case that the rest of the customers have completely opposite views of the ones revealed by the survey. Moreover, the notion of ‘the largest market’ should be explained as well. Is it the largest because of the sales amount or the number of citizens? For that matter, if it turns out to be the latter, the results of the survey cannot be considered convincing. It would be natural that more people would account for more profits, and the outcome of any studies would be skewed towards this group of people. Therefore, in order to bolster the argument, the author should elaborate on the survey details proving that the sample is indeed representative.
Secondly, even assuming that the change in the manufacturing process will be of no cost, we cannot expect profits to increase. Firstly, changing the manufacturing process will take time which can impede the production; secondly, the machines used in the Endure process will have to be sold, otherwise, the company will be losing a considerable amount of money as the machines get older and less valuable. Hence, the profits cannot be anticipated as a result of the manufacturing process with a high degree of confidence.
Last but not least, the vice president of marketing states in the memo that the company has always advertised the use of the Endure process. It is well-known that advertisement plays a significant role in people’s perception of a product. For that matter, it is entirely possible that the customers are drawn towards the Dura-Sock’s socks unconsciously, simply basing on what they have heard from the advertisements on the TV or radio. Therefore, removing something that has been advertised for so long as a strong advantage can affect brand perception in an unfavorable way. As a consequence, disappointed customers may stop buying the products of the company, making Dura-Sock sales plummet. Thus, to make the argument more persuasive, the author of the memo should prove that the buying behavior of the customers will not change after discontinuing the use of the Endure manufacturing process.
In conclusion, the argument logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen it the vice president of marketing should provide more information regarding the survey: how the data was gathered, is the sample was representative, etc. Additionally, he or she has to prove that the buying behaviour of the customers after the change will stay the same and the fact that switching the manufacturing process will be free of charge and quick, so that the sales can grow as predicted.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 539 350
No. of Characters: 2693 1500
No. of Different Words: 246 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.818 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.996 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.889 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 206 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 144 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 76 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.771 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.51 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 413, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ocks solely for 3 months, so the use of the Endure manufacturing process turns out to be i...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 251, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...duction; secondly, the machines used in the Endure process will have to be sold, otherwise...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 122, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ompany has always advertised the use of the Endure process. It is well-known that advertis...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 564, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an unfavorable way" with adverb for "unfavorable"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...g advantage can affect brand perception in an unfavorable way. As a consequence, disappointed custome...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 874, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...t change after discontinuing the use of the Endure manufacturing process. In conclusion...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, well, as to, in conclusion, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2792.0 2260.96107784 123% => OK
No of words: 539.0 441.139720559 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17996289425 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81833721656 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.06722075351 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 250.0 204.123752495 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.463821892393 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 867.6 705.55239521 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.2274074121 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.391304348 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4347826087 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.82608695652 5.70786347227 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20289370571 0.218282227539 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0592353551491 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0579952777768 0.0701772020484 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.121059971833 0.128457276422 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0682066357988 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.06 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 128.0 98.500998004 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.