A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
The author argues that residents of Mentia will suffer fewer headaches in the future after more companies add salicylates as a food additive based on the twenty-year report. However, several questions need to be answered to evaluate the claim.
The author argues that salicylates is the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. However, whether the chemical susbstances within the same chemical family have the same effect from the viewpoint of medicine. For example, alcohol bought by the public and that used by industry are in the same chemical family. However, alcohol used by the industry can't be drunk by humans because it will transform into toxic substances under the influence of the certain enzyme in our body and the other is safe to drink because of its relatively steady chemical property. Because the chemical similarity of two substances is based on their chemical structures instead of their influences on human bodies, it is dubious that salicylates can have the same impact on the suppression of headaches as aspirin does.
The report suggests that the correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and the decline in the average number of headaches. However, whether the participants have adopted other diets and started to exercise within these twenty years. The correlation doesn't guarantee the causation. Especially the experiment is conducted for a long period, the participants may start to focus on their diets, eating healthier, and start to exercise, which can contribute to the suppression of headaches.
Given that the correlation is substantiated as the causation between these two observations, whether the effect of salicylates reaches its potential to influence the headaches. Generally speaking, the influence of a certain stimulus will be bounded because it will contribute to the unreasonable fact without limitation. For example, after adding nutrient to the cluster of bacteria, the number will increase exponentially. However, when the total number of bacteria reaches the maximum capacity, the nutrient will no longer stimulate the growth of bacteria and other environmental and peer pressure will grow the suppress its growth at the meantime. As a result, fewer headaches may not be observed when more companies start to add salicylates into their products if the influence has reached to the upper bound.
The author needs to answer the above questions to strengthen the claim.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 390 350
No. of Characters: 2042 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.444 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.236 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.806 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.686 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.577 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 378, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
.... However, alcohol used by the industry cant be drunk by humans because it will tran...
^^^^
Line 5, column 274, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...hin these twenty years. The correlation doesnt guarantee the causation. Especially the...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 611, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...vironmental and peer pressure will grow the suppress its growth at the meantime. As a result...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, so, then, for example, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2091.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 389.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.37532133676 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44106776838 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88536564132 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.467866323907 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 662.4 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.5807342233 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.0 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8823529412 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.35294117647 5.70786347227 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.229619198849 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0773968225289 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0962478299736 0.0701772020484 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111701655876 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0967821463502 0.0628817314937 154% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.22 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.83 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.