A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches.

Essay topics: A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

msteck02's picture

The author of this text predicts that there will be a decrease in the number of people that suffer from headaches due to the increase in the use of salicylates. The author uses a 20 year-old study as evidence and the assumption that since more companies are putting it into foods, the more people will have these analgesic effects. Before the author’s argument is to be taken for granted, several questions need to be answered.

First, just because a chemical compound is in the same chemical class, does it really have the same physiological effect? This question is important to ask, because it may be the case that they are not. Take for instance ethanol and methanol. They are both alcohols, but ethanol is safer to consume than methanol. Ethanol can lead to toxicity if consumed in the liter scale, while methanol can be lethal then consumed in the deciliter scale. This means that the author may be incorrect in his or her prediction since just because aspirin and salicylates are in the same chemical class, it does not mean that both will have the same analgesic effect. Furthermore, the author mentioned that companies discovered salicylates after the study was concluded. Therefore it is important to ask if the companies are referring to the same salicylates mentioned in the study. If not, then the author’s argument is weaker since the study would not be backing up the salicylates that would be consumed by consumers in the near future.

In addition, are there other possible causes of decreased headaches? This is important to answer since there are a few possible explanations as to why there would be a decreased in reported headaches. For one, it could be that people have access to more affordable medications and there being more pharmacies being built. Additionally, environmental pollution could decrease as the people are exposed to fewer toxins in the enviornemnt which could have lead to headaches. These would mean that the author’s explanation of why a possible decrease in headaches, if any, cannot be attributed to companies’ salicylate based preservatives.

Lastly, a carful look at that study would make one ask a few questions. The study looked at the analgesic effect of these salicylates. The author should be ask if the doses used in the study versus the amount that could be used in the food are comperable. It is possible that in order to get the analgesic effect you need to take 100mg of the drug at minimum and in order to preserve cookies, you need only 10mg which would not have any analgesic effect. This would mean that the author needs to take a closer look at the study and the company in order to veritfy his or her prediction. Also, the study and the author may have different definitions of “commercial use”. The study may mean in the pharmacudical industry where other chemicals in food would not interfere with the salicylates’ effects, while the author would mean the opposite. In this case, the author would need to look further into the study.

In conclusion, though it seems like it is possible that if salicylates are added to foods, it would mean that Mentia would have fewer headaches, there are several questions that must be answered in order to see if the experts’ prediction has merit.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 754, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...icylates after the study was concluded. Therefore it is important to ask if the companies...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 157, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'asked'?
Suggestion: asked
...these salicylates. The author should be ask if the doses used in the study versus t...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, lastly, look, may, really, so, then, therefore, while, as to, for instance, in addition, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 37.0 19.6327345309 188% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 32.0 12.9520958084 247% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2745.0 2260.96107784 121% => OK
No of words: 555.0 441.139720559 126% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94594594595 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85370353223 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85890024448 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.4 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 882.9 705.55239521 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.7222976539 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.576923077 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3461538462 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.26923076923 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 17.0 4.67664670659 364% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.179714629307 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0593732954858 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0413993994373 0.0701772020484 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104900466092 0.128457276422 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.030864991972 0.0628817314937 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.43 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 555 350
No. of Characters: 2635 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.854 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.748 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.593 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.346 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.093 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.731 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

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